Trevor Malloy and Chanelle Slaggins are back for more unhinged, more unhygienic, and more internationally wanted than ever in the third book in the Crackhead series.

After accidentally selling woodworm-infested wooden dildos to amputees as prosthetic legs, the infamous pair flee Smackelston aboard the Skagsville Express, a stolen luxury train turned mobile crack den. What follows is an utterly deranged, continent-hopping catastrophe of drugs, depravity, and deeply misguided business ventures.

From a seafood-based sex scandal in Norway to launching a leprechaun porn empire in rural Ireland, Trevor and Chanelle leave chaos in their wake. There’s smuggling, sucking, shagging, sabotage—and that’s just in chapter three. They run a naked circus, get banned from Germany for leather-based crimes against humanity, and eventually land in jail after an ill-advised ferry orgy involving Angela Merkel’s inflatable likeness.

Locked up in separate prisons, Chanelle rises to become queen of the Muffwitch inmates through sheer oral determination, while Trevor survives on a diet of regret, cockroach chat, and prison spice. But true love can’t be caged—and as the gates swing open, the duo reunite with a brand-new plan to spread bastardry across Asia.

Skagsville Express: The International Bastard Tour is a filthy, funny, no-holds-barred journey through crime, kink, and ketamine. It’s part Trainspotting, part Carry On Abroad, and entirely unfit for human consumption.