Becoming Italian

through Family, Food, and Life in the South

What happens when a Southern American studies abroad in Italy — and never quite leaves...

In Becoming Italian, Bret Thoman recounts his journey from his upbringing in America's South to a new life in Italy's South, where dialects are spoken, lunches last for hours, and family is everything. What begins as a study-abroad adventure in Florence — driven by curiosity and ancestry — slowly becomes something deeper: a transformation of identity.

Drawn away from the polished postcard version of Florence and toward the rhythms of the South, Bret finds himself immersed in a culture that is equal parts bewildering and beautiful. Why is forming a single-file line optional? Why do merchants hate receipts? How can open windows threaten health? And why does life come to a screeching halt for lunch? Then there is the food — sacred, structured, and fiercely defended. And soccer — discussed with theological seriousness. And the bureaucracy — maddening, theatrical, and somehow survivable.

But the story shifts from observation to participation when Bret meets his future wife and is welcomed into a southern Italian family. Through marriage, children, hospital births, cooking lessons from his mother-in-law, and initiation into Italy’s unwritten “Food Rules,” he moves from outsider to insider — sometimes awkwardly, often hilariously.

Along the way, he navigates post offices, driver’s licenses, taxes, and the slow choreography of Italian daily life. What begins as culture shock becomes cultural surrender. Eventually, he becomes a citizen — not just legally, but relationally.

Becoming Italian is a humorous and heartfelt memoir about identity, belonging, and the quiet ways another culture can change you. It is about the strength of community, the nourishment of shared meals, enduring friendships, and the slower pace of taking life easy.

For anyone who loves Italy, wonders about their roots, or has ever tried to build a life in another country, this story will feel both foreign and familiar.

Becoming Italian

I so enjoyed the author’s story about his life and his transformation from being American to being Italian. However, this title is narrated by an AI voice, and the Italian pronunciation of the words are beyond awful. This audiobook would’ve been so much better read by someone who can speak both languages.

Very enjoyable book!

As an Italian American myself, who has documented her Italian citizenship, I really enjoyed this book. 

Just what I was looking for

After a recent vacation to Italy I have been pondering many of the topics discussed in this book and learned so many interesting details and gained great insight to the sweet life of Italy.

AI narration slaughtered Italian words, and a few hilarious moments when AI couldn’t enunciate Italian terminology (around 6:12 in chapter about taxes made me laugh out loud).