Choosing to Die

A Daughter’s Story of Supporting Her Mother’s End of Life Through Assisted Death

“We are quick to talk about the miracle of life when an infant enters this world. I believe the miracle of death carries the same weight and mystery.”—Theresa Evans

As an ICU nurse, Theresa Evans witnessed death and dying on a regular basis. She considered it a privilege and an honor to be with someone when they died.

And then her own mother chose a date with death.

So begins the extraordinary account of a mother and her three daughters preparing for death while coping with their own grief and impending loss.

As Theresa spends the final three months of her mother’s life putting her mom’s prolific flower garden to rest for winter, the garden becomes a living metaphor, mirroring the intrinsic cycles and timing of both life and death. Botany provides the lens while Theresa’s years as a yoga teacher and clinical somatic educator anchor the emotional and ethical complexities that arise while helping a mother settle her affairs.

Through deeply personal journal entries, Choosing to Die is a masterclass on intentionally and mindfully supporting a loved one who chooses medical assistance in dying. This vivid firsthand experience is useful for caregivers, death doulas, and other professionals and volunteers involved in hospice care and palliative care. Most of all, Choosing to Die is a gift for anyone seeking clarity and compassion in the midst of one of life’s most confounding decisions.

“When Mom wakes from her sleep, we bathe her. Like holy water washing her earthly film away we let layers of life puddle around her pale, fragile, age-marked body…”

©2026 Theresa E. Evans (P)2026 Theresa E. Evans

Beautiful heartfelt journey of life and death

Theresa has written a beautiful book on her mother’s life and choice to leave her life, supported by her three daughters. It’s such a heartfelt, beautiful and heart wrenching, at times, story of the beauty and challenges of life and our relationships with our family. It’s beautifully narrated as Theresa metaphorically weaves her mother’s life and death story with the unique lives of the plants living in her garden. Such an intimate masterpiece in capturing the journey, complex relationships and true meaning of the life we’ve been given and the choice some of us have to leave it on our terms. I highly recommend this book.

Emotional and informative

This is a beautifully written account of how to show up and support your loved ones at the end of life. I loved how the author chose to use the metaphor of putting her mother‘s garden to rest with putting a life to rest. I highly recommend.