The Atheist's Prayer

A Memoir of Gratitude

The Atheist’s Prayer is not a book about religion.

It’s a book about the parts of us that survive when religion leaves—or when we leave it.

I’ve been excommunicated twice. Divorced once. I’ve been tossed out of faith, love, and community and left to sort through the wreckage. I’ve wandered through shame, loneliness, and the awkwardness of starting over—sometimes crying, sometimes laughing at how absurd it all was.

What I found is this: self-love doesn’t need anyone’s permission, and prayer isn’t owned by any creed. You can call it gratitude, meditation, or just a quiet moment when you remember you’re alive. It’s yours. It always has been.

Through stories that are equal parts raw and ridiculous, I’ll take you from losing everything you thought defined you to realizing you already had what mattered most.

If you’ve ever felt rejected, disconnected, or stuck between faith and skepticism, you’ll find a place here. You don’t have to believe in anything new—you just have to believe you’re worth showing up for.

©2026 Nicholas K. Howland (P)2026 Nicholas K. Howland

A true feel good story of coming HOME to yourself.

This was such a great book, and a very easy listen. I resonated deeply with many of the messages of SELF love being the most important kind of love anyone can ever have. I will continue to recommend to friends and family!

Self love

Nick opened up and share his life and the amazing realization that self love can not be outsourced. The discovery that you are enough and yes IT IS GOOD BE NICK!

Thoughtful & Reflective

The Atheist Prayer was a powerful and unexpectedly moving book. I loved how the author blended personal stories with rich historical Utah detail, creating something that felt both deeply intimate and intellectually grounded. You can feel the growth that comes from his lived experiences—there’s honesty, vulnerability, and real transformation. It’s the kind of book that makes you think long after you’ve finished it. “It’s Good to be Nick.”