The ISIS Affair

Putting the Fun Back in Fundamentalism

Two elderly octogenarians stumble into Syria, the heart of ISIS territory, with nothing but a camera, a garbage bag, a counterfeit promise of safety, and catastrophically bad judgment. It’s a Mad, Mad World + Raiders of the Lost Ark. A “hilarious, wild, chaotic” tale of two grumpy old backpackers caught by ISIS as they try to smuggle priceless historical artifacts to safety.
Ralph Charlton and Doug Kirk cross into Syria believing they're protected by an ISIS safety guarantee—a fake, a desperate forgery by a museum curator trying to save priceless artifacts from destruction. They realize they've wandered into a nightmare as they share a minibus to Aleppo with new ISIS recruits hailing from New Jersey to Jordan, all eager to join ISIS and the caliphate, as bombs fall on Aleppo. The two oldsters. Ralph, an optimistic travel writer who sees all religions as holy, finds himself debating theology with extremists who threaten beheading. Surrounded by ISIS recruits, Ralph's academic interest in religion becomes a liability as he questions interpretations of the Koran that justify violence. Doug is a sardonic Brit fleeing his grasping children, obsessively frugal and perpetually complaining, clutching his French press as he wonders how retirement went so horribly wrong
When the curator of the Aleppo Museum, custodian of the world’s oldest antiquities reveals his deception and begs them to carry the irreplaceable Rams in a Thicket to Turkey, they face an impossible choice. If they refuse, humanity loses treasures that have survived 4,500 years—but if they agree, will two elderly men survive what trained soldiers cannot? Ralph Charlton never expected his travel writing assignment to involve burning passports, stolen AK-47s, and theological debates with twelve-year-old extremists. They find themselves agreeing to risk everything for golden rams that predate civilization itself, watching their latest retirement adventure transform into a deadly mission to smuggle ancient Sumerian statues across minefields, a Syrian Air Force Base, a jam-packed camp of desperate refugees on the Turkish border, and across the Euphrates with a young lady rumored to be the Yazidi Joan of Arc.
The ISIS Affair is David Rich's darkly comedic thriller that proves age is just a number when you're outrunning explosions. If you like absurdist humor, cultural preservation against impossible odds, and protagonists who refuse to act their age, then you'll love Rich's brilliantly irreverent take on extremism and heroism.
Unlock this darkly hilarious adventure today and discover why sometimes the most dangerous thing isn't terrorism—it's two stubborn old men with a mission.