We open up about how that played out in our marriage—how selfishness drove decisions that caused real hurt, and how easy it would have been to stay stuck there. Heather shares honestly about what was going on beneath the surface, and Rusty talks about the temptation on the other side to hold onto pain, bitterness, and self-pity. What we’ve learned is that selfishness doesn’t just show up in big moments like infidelity or addiction. It shows up in everyday conflict, when everything starts to revolve around our needs, our expectations, and what we feel like we deserve.

At the same time, we want to be really clear about what we’re not saying. There are situations where safety matters, where boundaries are necessary, and where choosing space or help is the right step. But for most of us, most of the time, the tension in our marriage can be traced back to this quiet, ongoing battle between “me” and “us.”

Our hope in this conversation is to help you recognize where that might be showing up in your own heart, not to bring shame, but to invite something better. Because healing really begins when we stop asking, “What about me?” and start asking, “What would it look like to choose us today?”

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Resurrection is not just something we celebrate at Easter. It is something we can experience in our marriages.

We know what it feels like to be stuck. We know what it feels like for things to seem lifeless, distant, or even beyond repair. But what we have learned is that what feels impossible to us is not impossible for God. If He can roll away a stone, He can move what feels stuck in your marriage. What looks dead may not be finished. It may just be waiting on Him to breathe life back into it.

In this episode, we share five truths that have shaped our own story. We talk about inviting God into the broken places, believing that He can restore what feels too far gone, and trusting that He can turn even the hardest seasons into something meaningful and beautiful.

Most importantly, we want you to hear this. Your story is not over. An empty tomb means your marriage still has a future. No matter where you are today, there is hope.

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Sometimes we look at our marriage and feel overwhelmed by everything that needs to change.

The conversations. The habits. The distance. The hurt.

And if we’re honest… it can feel like too much.

But what if you didn’t have to fix everything today?

In this episode, we share a simple shift that God has been pressing on our hearts lately: focus on the next 24 hours.

Not forever. Not five years from now. Just today.

Because when you wake up and choose—just for today—to love your spouse well, to be patient, to be kind, to show up differently… something begins to change. The weight lifts. The pressure eases. And suddenly, growth feels possible again.

We talk about how this “24-hour mindset” can bring clarity, reduce overwhelm, and help you become more intentional in your marriage—right where you are.

And at the end, we share a powerful God story that reminded us of something we never want you to forget:

God is in the details of your marriage.

Even the ones you think He’s missed. Even the ones that feel small. Even the ones that feel delayed.

This was a moment we couldn’t have planned—and it left us in awe of how personal and present God really is.

If you’re feeling stuck, tired, or unsure where to start… this episode is for you.

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In working with couples, one of the things we hear over and over again is that communication is their biggest struggle. But when we slow that down and really look at it, it’s often not just about what’s being said—it’s about what’s not being said.

In this episode, we’re talking about the conversations we tend to avoid. The ones that feel risky, uncomfortable, or easier to just keep to ourselves. Whether it’s physical intimacy, finances, or that quiet, unsettling feeling that you’re starting to drift apart, these unspoken areas can slowly create distance in a marriage.

We’ve been there ourselves, and we know how tempting it is to stay silent just to keep the peace. But what we’ve learned is that silence doesn’t protect connection—it erodes it. The longer things go unspoken, the more room there is for resentment to grow and for disconnection to take root.

We also talk about the mental gymnastics so many of us do—rehearsing conversations in our heads, assuming the worst, and carrying things our spouse doesn’t even know exist. It’s exhausting, and it keeps us stuck.

Our hope in this conversation is to give you a different way forward. We’re sharing practical ways to approach hard topics with grace, curiosity, and honesty so that those conversations can actually bring you closer instead of pushing you apart.

You don’t have to stay stuck in the silence. There is a better way to be known, to be heard, and to reconnect with your spouse.'

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This week on the Redeemed Marriage podcast, we are coming to you from our retreat home in Atlanta after spending several powerful days with couples who traveled here from across the country. Weeks like this always remind us of something that so many marriages forget in the middle of the struggle: you are not the only couple fighting this battle.

When a marriage gets hard, it is easy to feel isolated. It is easy to believe that everyone else has it figured out while your relationship feels broken, tense, or distant. But sitting around the living room with couples this week reminded us again that so many people are carrying the same fears, the same frustrations, and the same quiet questions about whether their marriage can really change.

If your marriage feels heavy right now, we want this conversation to remind you of something important. You are not alone. Your spouse is not your enemy. And no situation is beyond God’s ability to redeem. We see it every week sitting across from couples who once believed their story was over.

There is always hope for redemption, and we are honored to be fighting for marriages alongside you.

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This week we’re sitting down to talk about something that can feel absolutely suffocating — shame and guilt.

During a recent Q&A, someone asked how you move forward when it feels like you have a scarlet “A” for adultery spray-painted across your chest. And that question hit home.

Even fifteen years after Heather’s confession, the enemy still tries to whisper lies. There are moments when the weight of the past feels heavy, and the temptation to slip back into shame is real. But we’ve learned something over the years — shame is not from the Lord.

In this episode, we talk honestly about what it looks like to rebuild a marriage after infidelity and how we’ve chosen to replace that “A” with an “F” for forgiven and an “R” for redeemed.

Rusty also shares vulnerably about his own battle — the lingering narrative of not being “good enough” as the betrayed spouse. Because healing isn’t just about the one who confessed. Both people wrestle. Both people have to fight for truth.

We talk about how we’ve rebuilt our home on a biblical foundation, why we refuse to put our marriage on cruise control, and the practical ways we take our thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10) when shame tries to creep back in.

If you’ve ever felt defined by your worst decision… If you’ve ever believed you’re permanently marked by your past… If you’re wondering whether true freedom is actually possible…

We want you to know this: you are not your worst day. In Christ, you are forgiven. You are redeemed. And healing is still available.

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In this episode, we’re talking about something that can make people uncomfortable pretty quickly: boundaries. Over the past few months, we’ve received a lot of questions about opposite-sex friendships, digital transparency, work relationships, and what healthy safeguards should actually look like in marriage. So we decided it was time to revisit why we believe in what some might call “extreme” boundaries.

If we’re honest, if we had these guardrails in place years ago, our story might have unfolded very differently. We’ve learned the hard way that boundaries aren’t about controlling each other — they’re about protecting the most valuable relationship we have.

We share some of the personal standards we live by now, from complete password transparency to why we don’t delete texts, avoid one-on-one lunches, or travel alone with someone of the opposite sex. We also talk about how the media we consume can slowly desensitize us to the sacredness of our covenant without us even realizing it.

This isn’t about creating a list of legalistic rules. It’s about having honest conversations and intentionally building a fortress around your marriage. Healthy boundaries don’t put walls between a husband and wife — they lock arms together and keep unnecessary risk on the outside.

If you want to protect what you love most, this conversation is for you.

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This month, we’ve had the privilege of praying for marriages every single day — reading names, lifting up stories, and standing in the gap for couples who are hurting, hoping, and hanging on. And as we’ve done that, it’s stirred something deeper in us about what prayer in marriage really is… and what it isn’t.

In this episode, we talk honestly about how easy it is to confuse worrying with praying. We think about the problem. We rehearse conversations in our heads. We stress. We analyze. But that’s not the same thing as bringing it before the Lord.

Prayer isn’t a negotiation. It’s not a way to convince God to take our side or fix our spouse. It’s not a spiritual wish list where we hope He delivers exactly what we ordered. Real prayer is alignment. It’s surrender. It’s allowing God to reshape our hearts until our desires begin to look more like His.

We share what bold faith actually looks like — the kind that asks for miracles without demanding them. The kind that believes God can restore what feels impossible, while still trusting Him if the answer comes differently than we hoped. That tension is something we’ve lived. We’ve prayed desperate prayers. We’ve asked for big miracles. And we’ve also had to surrender outcomes we couldn’t control.

If you’ve been praying for your spouse, praying for your marriage, or maybe just thinking about it more than actually talking to God about it, this conversation is for you.

Maybe the prayer that changes your marriage isn’t “Lord, fix them.”

Maybe it’s “Lord, change me.”

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