A Goomba's Guide to Life

By: Steven R. Schirripa, Charles Fleming

Narrated by: Steven R. Schirripa

Attention would-be paesans: Can’t distinguish “gabagool” from “pasta fazool”? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase “go to the mattresses” make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”

Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).

With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.©2003 Noelani, Inc. and Charles Fleming; (P)2003 Random House, Inc., Random House Audio, A Division Of Random House, Inc.

Critic reviews

“Finally, a Goomba guide for everyone that is one, knows one, or wants to be one. Steve Schirripa is a great storyteller with a touching and humorous story to tell.” -- James Gandolfini

“Before reading this book, who was I? Just another punk kid on the street trying to stay out of jail. Now I’m a rock star, an award-winning actor, and a DJ on my own radio show. Thank you, Stevie—I owe it all to you!” -- Stevie Van Zandt

“Put a gold chain on your neck, sit down on a plastic-covered couch, and then read what I think is the funniest book there is about Italians. Now have a cannoli and shut up.” -- Ray Romano

“Steve Schirripa is the best Italian writer since Maya Angelou and I’m not just saying that because he has
a gun to my head . . . okay, yes I am.” -- Chris Rock

“From one fat guy to another—and from a real goy to a real goomba—this book is hilarious!” -- Louie Anderson

“I laughed until I ate.” --Kevin James

“This book is a heartfelt celebration of Italian-American culture from a guy who really knows his macaroni. Congratulations, Steve. Salute!” -- Michael Imperioli

“Steve Schirripa’s A Goomba’s Guide to Life absolutely killed me, stuffed my body in the trunk of a Monte Carlo, and then dumped me in the river.” -- Bill Maher

Goomba

While there are a few funny lines in his story telling. He uses the word “Goomba” like 500 times!!!! The book is only 3 chapters, so do the math. I was a bit disappointed.

Schirripa does this so well

This was great. Kinda short but really good. I love the way he talks with just the right amount of patter for a story. Funny in parts too. I loved him in Sopranos I think because he really IS like that.

Loved every second!

I absolutely love Steve Schirripa, and this book described my whole life! He did a great job and it was funny and fantastic! I highly recommend!

Goomba Time

Wonderfully written and narrated book. I've known a few Italian's in my time and no one compares to what a true Gumba is except one in Philadelphia. Steven Schirripa is a great storyteller and yet he tells it like it is. Loved the book and it gave be a better insight to Italians. Both of his books were fabulous. Keeping them in my library for future referencing.

entertaining amd true

so funny. loved it. wish there was more to listen to. please write another book