Acceptance

A Memoir

By: Emi Nietfeld

Narrated by: Julia Knippen

“Nietfeld’s gifts for capturing the fury of living at the mercy of bad circumstances, for critiquing the hero’s journey even while she tells it, make Acceptance a remarkable memoir.” —The New York Times Book Review

A hard-hitting and hilarious memoir of ambition, desperation, and the dark side of grit

Growing up in a house filled with dirty feather boas and fearless mice, Emi Nietfeld dreams of escaping to the Ivy League. Emi’s single mom believes in her, but can’t stop hoarding—catapulting Emi into the underworld of troubled teen treatment, foster care, and homelessness. When her shot arrives to trade sleeping in her car for the hallowed halls of an elite college, Emi must decide: How far will she go to market herself as a perfect “overcomer” when her problems are far from over? And what will it cost to maintain that illusion at Harvard and into adulthood?

From journalist, mental health advocate, and software engineer Emi Nietfeld, this searing coming-of-age story is both a chronicle of the American Dream and an indictment of it. Exposing the price of trading a troubled past for the promise of a bright future, Nietfeld explores whether any amount of success can make trauma worth it. With a ribbon of dark humor, Acceptance challenges our ideas of what it means to overcome—and live on your own terms.

Incredibly relatable to what I suspect are many of us

Many themes I found to be woot on with my own, damaged childhood as well as parental figures and episodes. The best part is the epilogue: her final realizations struck a cord with me through my own attempts at healing. Highly recommend to devour this memoir.

A heartbreaking insight to a teen’s view of life in the system

This looked like a ‘must read’ after I read an essay by Nietfeld. I listened to parts of this book while remodeling a former group foster home, already angry at the poor condition of a house that was supposed to provide safety and comfort to youth in the system. This book is heartbreaking and insightful. It helps give a better understanding to the roadblocks encountered, and emotions felt, by teens as they try to navigate the complicated bureaucracies designed to provide help. Far too many youth are traumatized in some way by these systems and Nietfeld’s narrative walks readers through the various ways and places this can happen. While the outcome of her professional life looks great on paper, this book helps us understand the nuances of pain and trauma underneath. I fear there are too many similar stories, of youth who love their parents but cannot live with them and cannot get all the assistance needed to support them to adulthood. I appreciated this bold story and the effort I imagine it took to tell it to the whole world.

Poignant

Heartfelt, earnest, funny, awe-inspiring, heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing your story, Emi; we have much to learn from it.

Deeply impactful book

I found this book completely by chance while surfing the internet and I’m so glad I did. Emi’s story is so real and her honesty is refreshing, despite being hard to hear at times. Her analysis of societal expectations and norms and the way they worked both for and against her was fascinating to think about. She touches on politically charged topics like white privilege without being offensive or accusatory toward any viewpoint on the subject matter. She is matter-of-fact, and I think that makes her story relatable for people from all kinds of different backgrounds and belief systems. A valuable insight into the systems that fail young people in America and how even the ones that succeed in some ways, still aren’t perfect. Emi’s story is one of succeeding and failing at the same time, living in the middle of a messy life. It’s unlike anything I’ve read. Highly recommend giving it a read or a listen. The narrator for the audiobook has a pleasant voice, although she mispronounced a couple of words. Nothing major though. All around an excellent book that kept me interested from start to finish!

Resilience defined

The author is the portrait of resilience. It gives hope that moving on from trauma and realizing success is alive and well!