He Lost His Wife to Cancer — Here's What No One Told Him About Grief | Justin Schunk | Ep. 99

Send a text to suggest topics you’d like to hear!

What does it actually feel like to watch the person you love more than anything slowly disappear? Justin Schunk joins Paul on The Open Exchange for one of the most honest conversations this show has ever had.

Justin lost his wife Katie on April 29th, 2024 — after a 3-year battle with stage 4 metastatic colon cancer that had spread to her lungs and liver. She was in the best shape of her life when they found it. There were no warning signs.

In this episode, Justin shares what it was like to receive a terminal diagnosis, how he processed grief while Katie was still alive, what the final days looked like, what he misses most, how he's raising their kids alone, and why giving yourself grace might be the most important thing nobody tells you when you lose someone.

This is not a clinical breakdown of the stages of grief. This is a real conversation between two old friends — one who's been through it, one who hasn't — about the raw, nonlinear, complicated, and deeply human experience of loss.

Whether you're going through it right now, supporting someone who is, or just trying to understand what grief actually looks like up close — this one's for you.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction & Why This Episode Matters
01:10 Meeting Justin: A Decade of Friendship Before This Conversation
02:24 April 29th, 2024 — The Day Justin Lost Katie
03:00 The First Cancer Diagnosis (10 Years Earlier): Stage 1, No Panic
04:20 The Second Diagnosis: Stage 4, Terminal, No Evidence of Disease Possible
05:48 No Symptoms — How Katie's Fitness May Have Hidden the Signs
08:37 Processing the Terminal Diagnosis as a Husband
09:25 Finding a Therapist Who Specialized in Terminal Illness
10:42 What Happens When Old Anger Comes Back (Regression in Grief)
11:43 You Can't Grieve for 3 Years — Life Still Has to Continue
14:03 Paul's Own Relationship With Loss and Detachment
15:27 What Justin Didn't Expect: How His Father's Death Felt Different
16:19 The Most Unexpected Part of Grief: Giving Yourself Grace
17:54 Coming Home After — The Silence and the Permanence
19:26 Grief Isn't Linear: The Roller Coaster Nobody Warns You About
20:49 Looking at Old Photos and Learning to Sit in the Sadness
23:01 Raising the Kids: What to Watch For and What's Gone Right
26:56 Keeping Katie's Memory Alive in the House
28:19 Feeling Guilty About NOT Feeling Worse (His Father vs. His Wife)
29:40 Choosing How You React When You Can't Control Anything Else
30:37 The Guilt of Being Happy Again
33:25 Emotional Awareness Justin Didn't Have Before
34:11 When People Break Down in Front of the Grieving Person
35:06 What Would Katie Say About How He's Doing?
37:03 Talking Out Loud to Katie — and Catching Himself
38:12 Their Last Real Conversation
40:05 What He Misses Most: Watching Her Walk Into a Room
41:39 Grieving the Future You Planned — Not Just the Person
43:29 Buying the Dirt Bike: Rediscovering Life Alone
44:04 On "Vulnerability" — Why Justin Rejects the Word
45:32 Advice for Anyone Going Through Grief Right Now

Support the show

'Virtual Tip Jar' - Donate to my show to keep me going! Thank you!

Paypal: https://paypal.me/PaulMartinez89?country.x=US&locale.x=en_US (PaulMartinez89)
Venmo: https://venmo.com/u/Paullyymm (Paullyymm)