233. The Hidden Skill Kids Need to Control Their Behaviour

Children rarely “choose” big reactions. Most of the time, they simply don’t notice what is happening inside their body until it’s too late.In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline Buzanko explains how to teach kids one of the most important emotion regulation skills: self-monitoring.When children learn to recognize early body signals—tight shoulders, a racing heart, frustration rising—they gain the ability to pause and respond differently. That shift changes behaviour at school, improves friendships, and reduces daily power struggles at home.Dr. Caroline walks through practical ways adults can guide children to notice emotional signals, understand what their body is communicating, and choose strategies before reactions escalate.You’ll learn:• Why emotional awareness is the starting point for behaviour change • How “Hulk brain” takes over when kids miss early warning signs • The power of body-clue mapping and emotional awareness activities • How to create simple self-monitoring systems kids will actually use • Ways parents and teachers can reinforce progress without pressureThese tools help children move from reacting automatically to responding with intention.If you support children who struggle with frustration, overwhelm, impulsive reactions, or emotional outbursts, this episode offers clear strategies you can begin using right away.Homework Activities for Adults Supporting KidsActivity 1: Body Clue MappingGoal: Help kids recognize early emotional signals.Steps:Print or draw a simple outline of a body.Ask the child to mark where they feel sensations during different emotions.Label the feelings connected to those sensations.Examples:Frustration → tight shoulders Anxiety → stomach knots Anger → hot faceThis builds awareness of body signals tied to emotions.Resources needed: • Printable body outline • Coloured pencils or markersActivity 2: Emotional Weather Check-InGoal: Help kids describe emotional states.Steps:Ask the child to choose weather that matches how they feel.Sunny = calmCloudy = worriedStormy = angryAdults can then ask:“What kind of gear would help for this weather?”Example: Stormy → break, water, breathing.Resources: • Weather chart or visualsActivity 3: Self-Coaching PracticeGoal: Build internal dialogue for regulation.Kids create their own phrases such as:“I can handle this.” “One step at a time.” “I can count to five.”Practice during calm moments first.Resources: • Small cue cards • Backpack or desk reminderActivity 4: Emotional Monitoring ChartGoal: Track awareness and progress.Steps:Choose one challenging moment (homework, transitions, bedtime).Create a simple chart.Kids record whether they noticed their feelings.Adults praise awareness, not perfection.Resources: • Printable chart • Stickers or markersActivity 5: If-Then Coping PlansGoal: Prepare responses to emotional triggers.Example:If I feel my heart racing Then I will count to 10 and take a drink of water.Write plans on small coping cards.Resources: • cue cards • markerEnjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/