Where Do You Even Get Sperm? LGBTQ+ Family Planning & Our Donor Story

In this episode of The Stories We Leave You, Julie and Ryann take a deep dive into one of the most requested parts of their story — how they built their family as an LGBTQ+ couple. From always knowing they wanted kids to realizing just how complicated that journey would be, they walk through the emotional, logistical, and often unexpected realities of trying to conceive without a “traditional” path. What started as a simple idea quickly turned into months of research, conversations, and figuring things out as they went — with no clear roadmap and no one around them who had done it before.

They share the full, unfiltered process of choosing a known sperm donor, navigating boundaries, and having the kinds of conversations most people never even think about — legal agreements, parental rights, financial responsibilities, and the “what if” scenarios that come with it all. From awkward logistics (yes, including jars, syringes, and speculums) to the emotional weight of building a family in a nontraditional way, this episode gives a real look at LGBTQ+ family planning, donor conception, and what it actually takes behind the scenes.

Julie and Ryann also open up about the emotional complexities that came with using a known donor — how it impacted their relationship, identity, and sense of connection as parents. They talk about the unexpected challenges, including shifting dynamics with their donor, fears around how their kids might feel, and the importance of communication, legal protection, and trust throughout the process. This episode ends with the moment everything changed — finally getting pregnant after months of trying… and finding out it was twins.

The lesbian conception book they mention is The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, & Birth by Stephanie A. Brill and Kim Toevs.

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Julie is a podcast manager who helps people tell the stories they’ve been too scared to share. If you’ve been thinking about starting a podcast… this is your sign. https://juliebeckllc.com/