Is My Teen Ungrateful? How to Teach Gratitude Without Forcing It

Do you ever feel like your teen doesn’t notice – or appreciate – anything you do? Do you wonder if your teen is becoming ungrateful?

You're not imagining it. And you're not alone. But clinical psychologists Dr. Annalise Caron and Dr. Suzanne Allen say what looks like ingratitude in teenagers is often something else entirely — and understanding what's actually happening developmentally can change how you respond to it and how you feel about it.

In this episode of The Parenting Pair Podcast, they explore how gratitude develops during adolescence, why it often appears to disappear during the teen years, and what parents can actually do to nurture it — without forcing it or making it a source of conflict.

Rather than something we either have or don’t have, gratitude is both a feeling and a practice. It’s something that can be cultivated through small, consistent behaviors and perspectives.

In this conversation, we discuss:

• Why teens aren’t necessarily becoming ungrateful—they’re developing their identities and growing independence
• Why feeling less appreciated is a common experience for parents of adolescents
• The difference between gratitude as an emotion and gratitude as a practice
• How our brains are wired to notice problems more easily than positives
• The powerful role of modeling gratitude in parenting
• Simple daily practices that help build gratitude over time
• Why gratitude isn’t about forcing positivity

Here are some highlights from the episode:

00:00 — Gratitude: What We Feel and What We Do to Build It

01:38 — The First Day of Spring Perspective

03:22 — Seeing Through a Positive Lens: The Echo Effect

05:42 — How We Feel When Our Teen Points Out Our Mistakes

07:19 — Is My Teen Ungrateful?

08:46 — Teens Aren’t Ungrateful — They’re Growing Up

10:43 — When Teens Grow Apart: Feeling Less Valued as a Parent

12:26 — Reminder: Change Behavior for Yourself, Not for Appreciation

14:40 — Gratitude Can Be Developed Over Time

15:42 — What Gratitude Really Is

16:40 — How Our Brain Works

18:25 — The Power of Gratitude

21:39 — Modeling Gratitude to Teach It

26:16 — Exercise: Taking a Few Seconds to Be Thankful

28:27 — Gratitude Isn’t About Forcing It

We also share a simple exercise that parents can use to intentionally notice small moments of appreciation in everyday life.

Teaching gratitude isn’t about demanding thankfulness—it’s about modeling a way of seeing the world.

If you’re parenting a tween, teen, or college student and wondering how to nurture appreciation without lecturing or forcing it, this episode offers thoughtful, practical guidance.

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