Being Dead Is No Excuse

The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral

By: Gayden Metcalfe, Charlotte Hays

Narrated by: Tiffany Morgan

A hilarious guide to the intricate rituals, customs, and etiquette surrounding death in the South-and a practical collection of recipes for the final send-off.
As author Gayden Metcalfe asserts, people in the Delta have a strong sense of community, and being dead is no impediment to belonging to it. Down south, they don't forget you when you've up and died-they may even like you better and visit you more often! But just as there is an appropriate way to live your life in the South, there is an equally essentially tasteful way of departing it-and the funeral is the final social event of your existence so it must be handled flawlessly. Metcalfe portrays this slice of American culture from the manners, customs, and the tomato aspic with mayonnaise that characterize the Delta way of death.
Southerners love to swap tales, and Gayden Metcalfe, native of Greenville, MS, founder of the Greenville Arts Council and chairman of the St. James Episcopal Church Bazaar, is steeped in the stories and traditions of this rich region. She reminisces about the prominent family that drank too much and got the munchies the night before the big event-and left not a crumb for the funeral (Naturally some early rising, quick-witted ladies from the church saved the day, so the story demonstrates some solutions to potential entertaining disasters!). Then there was the lady who allocated money to have "Home on the Range" sung at the service, and the family that insisted on a portrait of their mother in her casket, only to refuse to pay for it on the grounds that "Mama looks so sad."
Each chapter ends with an authentic southern recipe that will come in handy if you "plan to die tastefully", including Boiled Bourbon Custard; Aunt Hebe's Coconut Cake; Pickled Shrimp; Homemade Mayonnaise; and Homemade Rolls.

Entertaining

As a Texan and Methodist I could relate, even though I understand we Texans aren’t considered true Southerners. We’re not! We are Texans!

I found myself skipping the recipes at the end of each chapter, but I am curious about tomato aspic now!

Light hearted stories and you’ll catch yourself laughing out loud at times. While listening to this book I could see a few old (deceased) Aunts too!

Not suited for audio reading

Being read a cookbook by someone with a fake sounding southern accent was not enjoyable

Great Book, wrong reader

It's clear this reader has not actually lived in the South. She could have had MUCH more fun with this performance. Bless her heart.

Laughing all through

This was so unexpected. The recipes were placed in just the right places. I am going to have to reread this story to be able to get recipes written
Great read

Who wants to listen to a recipe recital?

If I had understood that the book was just a recital of recipes, I would have skipped it. One of few DNF for me.