Best Served Frozen

By: Gerald Hansen

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

"Best Served Frozen is a chick flick with the meddlesome mothers-in-law played not by Goldie Hawn and Diane Keaton but more like...if the Kray Brothers were women."--Colin Quinn

Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but hardened mother of seven Fionnuala Flood plans on serving hers up frozen. Or so she thinks.

The bells are ringing out in Derry, Northern Ireland, as the dirt-poor Floods and the rich and entitled Riddells prepare for the pairing in matrimony of their families and a bridging of the gap between the two sniping communities. But some are not best pleased, and it might be more a case of For Whom The Bell Tolls.

What is the price to be paid for a mother's love? For daughter Dymphna and son Lorcan, dangerously high. Fionnuala is already furious Dymphna has put her arch nemesis, Ursula Barnett, on the wedding list. Then beloved son Lorcan, fresh out of prison, announces he's emigrating to the USA. He'll get there. Unless Fionnuala gets her way. In Wisconsin, Ursula and husband Jed will find a trip to Derry difficult, as Jed's gambling has them teetering on the brink of bankruptcy. The last chance to save their floundering beef jerky business will be to appear on Attack of the Killer Investors! But Fionnuala has ripped up their invitation, in any event. When they hear shocking news of Dymphna's death, getting the investment from the TV show is essential.

Throw in a rabble of geriatric religious fanatics, poisonous ham hocks, an X-rated wedding cake, a gown from Hell, mix with rivers of drink, intolerance, jealousy and shame, and you have Best Served Frozen, a rip-roaring tale jam-packed with dark humor.

NEW! Listen to the music in the book while you read! Check out the soundtrack to Best Served Frozen on Spotify.

Although this novel is part of the DERRY WOMEN SERIES, it's a complete story and can be enjoyed without having read the previous books. For those who prefer a gentler reading experience, a PG version of this book is also available here on Amazon.