Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead

A Novel

By: Mai Nguyen

Narrated by: Elyse Dinh

A darkly humorous yet uplifting novel about a grieving mother who starts working at a funeral home and discovers that the best way to honor the dead is to live—from the author of the “insightful, moving” (Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling author) Sunshine Nails.

All Cleo Dang has ever wanted was to be a mother. The day she discovers she’s pregnant is the happiest of her life, especially when she learns that her best friend, Paloma, is also expecting. It’s a wonderful surprise and together, they enjoy their pregnancies. But when they both go to the hospital in labor, something goes very, very wrong. Paloma comes home with a baby. Cleo does not.

Now a grieving Cleo must navigate life after losing her baby. She alienates herself from the world, especially her best friend who is living the life she so desperately wanted. Forced to quit her demanding job as an actuary, Cleo manages to find a job at a funeral home where she meets a revolving door of bereaved locals and discovers the power of confronting grief.

Critic reviews

“Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead is a deeply compassionate and unexpectedly funny novel about love, loss, and the messy, resilient business of being human. Mai Nguyen always writes with warmth, insight, and emotional precision, and here she finds moments of wit and connection even in the most painful terrain. This is a story that sticks with you—not just for the way it turns sorrow into moments of light, but for its tenderness and humanity.”
— MARISSA STAPLEY, NYT bestselling author of Lucky

“Propulsive and unflinching, Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead captures the depth of human loss with the tenacity of life's hopes. When her newborn child dies, Cleo finds herself in an impossible search to make meaning out of tragedy and profound grief. Told with exceptional candor, heartbreak, and humour, Nguyen’s novel evokes a complex spectrum of emotions, causing readers to pause and reflect on their own love, loss, and other life experiences long after reading.”
— ANN Y. K. CHOI, author of All Things Under the Moon

“Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead is a window into grief: its ability to make us our worst selves, but also how, over time, it can turn us into a person who sees life for how precious and beautiful and exquisitely improbable it truly is. Nguyen’s writing is open and vulnerable and so very raw. I cried a lot, but I also laughed and was reminded that grief is a journey that never ends but shifts and morphs and should be tended to as long as is needed. It is a testament to the healing power of connection, and I’m so glad this book exists.”
— CHARLENE CARR, author of We Rip the World Apart

“It’s rare to read a book knowing that it will stay with you long after it’s finished like this. It had me wiping away tears and laughing within the same page. Mai Nguyen writes about grief with humour, deep insight, and incredible honesty. It’s a beautiful story of a mother’s love, sorrow, joy, and human connection.”
— NATALIE SUE, bestselling author of I Hope This Finds You Well

“Deeply emotional and unexpectedly funny. Nguyen masterfully balances heartbreaking vulnerability with wit and hopefulness. A truly beautiful novel and window into a mom’s profound love for her baby.”
— EMILY AUSTIN, bestselling author of We Could Be Rats