Come After Me to Pineville

By: Carl Reader

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Nothing but odd news comes out of Pineville, as these short, satirical pieces of fake journalism prove. If you visit these pages, you'll read of a place where birds abduct obese children and put them on enforced diets, where the President of the United States comes to visit and lunches on a dog he happens to spot, and where the ancient practice of knee-sniffing is a cherished tradition. The illegal aliens here really are aliens, long-time residents from outer space who do the menial labor of the town and sometimes become lunch for the construction workers, since they are delicious entities as well as exploitable ones. Pineville has a lake of gasoline where the locals play and fill up their tanks. It has an ancient history of religious absurdity, as well as a castle of glass hovering over the highway. If you visit here, you'll get a glimpse of just how odd we all can be, and you'll laugh heartily at the gigantic human comedy such a small but thoroughly absurd venue can offer. Welcome to Pineville, which is not a place but an unstable state of mind.