Desire

The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow

By: Jay Stringer

Narrated by: Jay Stringer

Have you ever wondered why chasing love, success, or pleasure feels like an unending struggle? Or why the things you want are always out of reach?

Drawing on a new study of 4,000 people, renowned therapist and award-winning author Jay Stringer reveals how desire—the most powerful and misunderstood force in our lives—shapes everything: who we love, what we chase, and the life we create.

“A master class in caring for the human spirit.”—Will Guidara, New York Times bestselling author of Unreasonable Hospitality

Desire drives our search for intimacy, meaning, and joy, but it can also lead to shame, betrayal, and self-sabotage. Too often we are encouraged to silence it, distort it, or treat surface-level symptoms like loneliness, low desire, or porn use—without listening to what our longings are really telling us.

In Desire, Stringer shows how to decode those clues and transform your story. Drawing on unforgettable stories from his clinical practice—individuals and couples navigating everything from childhood scars to purity culture, professional exhaustion to sexual difficulties, codependency to self-doubt—he shows you how to ask the questions you’ve been avoiding and move toward the healing you didn’t know how to seek.

This book doesn’t offer quick fixes. Through deep compassion and research, it offers something far more powerful: the invitation to approach your desires with curiosity, so you can stop unhealthy patterns and begin building a life of connection, purpose, and love.

Amazing Book

it's an inspiring read for anyone interested in understanding human emotions and building healthier connection.
highly recommended.

Cool Read!

Understanding how we are wired is so important because it helps us learn how to love others with greater patience, clarity, and intention.

Desire in its original form, prior to shame entering

Understanding desire and accepting my needs vs the lies I have believed about myself from childhood are earth moving.

Personal Review of Desire

Reading this book was honestly eye-opening for me. Before picking it up, I thought conversations about desire and sexual struggles were mostly about self-control or simply trying harder. But Jay approaches the topic very differently. He explains that our desires are often connected to our personal stories, past experiences, and emotional wounds.

What I appreciated most was how compassionate the book felt. Instead of creating more shame, it encourages curiosity and honesty about why we feel or struggle the way we do. It made me reflect more deeply on how experiences, relationships, and even pain can shape our desires. Great read!

Deep dive into WHY we desire the things we do

If you ever took Psych 101 in high school or college, you'll remember some of the concepts that the author introduces at the start of the book. That said, Jay quickly begins to dive deeper into the 5 types of desire based on fundamental human drives, and IT IS FASCINATING. He's knowledgeable and easy to listen to, prompting listeners' subconscious to start examining the root of their own desires. Before I was even done with Chapter One, I was recommending the book to a friend.