Digging Out

Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, and Compulsive Acquiring

By: Michael A. Tompkins PhD ABPP, Tamara L. Hartl PhD, Randy O. Frost PhD - foreword, Gail Steketee PhD - foreword

Narrated by: Rebecca H. Lee

Many people who hoard understand the extent of their problem and are open to help. This book is not for them. Digging Out is for the concerned and frustrated friends and family members of people who do not fully accept the magnitude of their hoarding problem and refuse help from others. If you have a friend or loved one with a hoarding problem and are seeking a way to guide him or her to a healthier, safer way of life, this book is for you.

In Digging Out, you will find a complete guide to helping your loved one with a hoarding problem live safely and comfortably in his or her home or apartment. Included are realistic harm reduction strategies that you can use to help your loved one manage health and safety hazards, avoid eviction, and motivate him or her to make long-term lifestyle changes. You'll learn how to handle a roommate or spouse with a hoarding problem, identify and work through special considerations that may arise when the person who hoards is frail and elderly, and receive guidance for healing strained relationships between people who hoard and their friends and family. Take heart. With this book as a guide, you can help your loved one live more comfortably and safely, salvage your damaged relationship, and restore your peace of mind.

©2009 Michael A. Tompkins and Tamara L. Hart (P)2024 Tantor

nothing but captivation

this book recommends nothing but capitulation to hoarders. if you have to solve the problem and can't let someone remain in squalor or keep you in squalor as a consequence of their neglect and narcissistic, incorrigible, obsessive, relentless obstinace there is nothing in this book for you

Basic

I didn't learn much, but I'm not starting from zero. I also got real tired of hearing "your loved one" despite it being a decent way to refer to the hoarder.

Excellent advice if you don’t live with the hoarder

Overall this book is very helpful for friends & family members who have tried & failed to help their hoarding relative. It focuses on repairing relationships & managing the hoard for safety instead of getting rid of it.

It includes excellent checklists & templates.

However, I wish the description had made it clear that this book assumes the hoarder lives alone. I was looking for ways to set boundaries with a hoarding spouse when you live together and you are not a hoarder yourself. There is a massive gap in the literature about this topic & sadly, this book doesn’t address the desperation of so many people who feel trapped by their hoarding relatives.