F*cking History

111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School

By: The Captain

Narrated by: The Captain

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra.

People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

The plan yet humorous terminology used in the narration.

I learned a lot, and it felt like I was learning from a friend because of the way it was written 

Badass Brain Power!

Awesomeness!!!! To The Captain! En hora buena... congrats to you on this journey and thanks for sharing your badassery with the world - Gracias 💗

The Captain Makes History Fun!

I bought this first for my husband on Kindle while it was on sale. He enjoyed it so much that I turned around and bought it on Audible for myself. The Captain not only teaches history that most history books don't but he does it in a way to make it relevant to today and with a great sense of humor. As history buffs, we both found his book hysterical and informative. Well worth the listen or read!

A most unusual history book…

A most unusual history book….Snippets of history drowned with more curse words than I have every encountered in one book….and garnished with the humor of a profane 12 year boy just starting puberty….however still somewhat interesting.

Funny but way way too many 4 letter words.

Making me spend my time when the review is taking up too much of my time.