Fingers Crossed

How Music Saved Me From Success

By: Miki Berenyi

Narrated by: Miki Berenyi, Mark Gardener

Includes an original song written by Miki exclusively for the audio edition and an exclusive Q&A with 'Ride' singer & guitarist Mark Gardener.

Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music. Now, Miki Berenyi tells all.

The audiobook begins with her childhood of extremes. From the bohemian lifestyle of her father's social circle to the privileged glamour of her mother's acting career, Miki's young life was a blur of travel, celebrities and private schooling. But frequent relocation, parental neglect and the dark presence of her abusive grandmother resulted in crippling shyness, mental-health issues and a vulnerability to exploitation. The route out of this hole was music—a passion shared by schoolmate Emma Anderson. The teenagers began attending gigs together and would eventually go on to form Lush.

Peppered with anecdotes involving a cast of hundreds (including Blur, Sean Connery, Tracey Emin, Pearl Jam and the Red Hot Chili Peppers), this uncompromising autobiography documents Lush's thrilling rise, dispiriting fall and subsequent bounceback, reliving the tours, recording sessions and problematic managers they experienced along the way. But at the heart of the book are Miki's own battles: the conflict between her mouthy public persona and her thin-skinned private identity; the trials of being a woman in an infuriatingly male world; the struggle to find a middle ground between safe indie obscurity and sellout international success. The memoir also explores Miki's complex relationship with Emma—one that has fluctuated between camaraderie and rivalry over the years—and addresses the most devastating tragedy of all: the suicide of her soulmate, Lush drummer Chris Acland.

Told through frank confession, wry humour and emotional honesty, this is the incredible tale of a trailblazing woman and a seminal band.

©2022 Miki Berenyi (P)2022 Bonnier Books UK

“Awesome,” said the American

Miki is an incredible storyteller with a hugely compelling story to tell and it was great to hear it in her voice.

Forever a favorite

Absolutely loved this . Actually very relatable from early years . Thank you for sharing your story , Miki. Have been a fan forever.

A surprisingly touching and personal rock bio, narrated by the singer herself.

Miki’s story is so well written and made me feel closer to this artist whose music I’ve admired for so long, yet who I knew nothing about.

I’ve read my share of rock autobiographies and the early years are often a bit boring or not so relevant. Her accounting of her upbringing and pre-Lush years is truly moving and thought-provoking. She’s a brave woman for baring herself the way she does, and it also gives the songs a lot more meaning.

The actual Lush years are very detailed and written from the perspective of her own diary, so very detailed and interesting. I had no idea she and Emma had such a tempestuous relationship, or that one of the members died.

Lastly her reading is just delightful. I could listen to her read the phone book for days. I already miss it!

I loved it.

I'm listening to it a second time! I don't want to include any spoilers here, but Miki is very open about some VERY PERSONAL things. I've always LOVED her singing (and the way she and Emma sounded when they sang together), but this made her narration very appealing - she's got a great, easy to identify voice. The lollapalooza stories are worth the price of admission alone. Again, I don't want to be too specific, but I was quite moved by the stuff about her Dad. She describes a very complicated relationship with Emma, but she is also quick to praise her for her songwriting capabilities, and you come away from the book with the knowledge that without Emma, there would never have been a Lush in the first place, and that their success had everything to do with Emma's songs. I might be a little bit biased in my review, because I was and still am a HUGE fan, but I think there's plenty to like about the book to enjoy it even if you've never heard their music, and if you fit that description, hopefully the book will inspire you to give them a listen.

Raw and unapologetic

I appreciate that the book isn’t just about Lush, but Miki’s experiences in her early life. This book is an eye-opener and I think it it’s great that it’s red by her. She really brings it to life. Now as a side effect, when I watch old YouTube videos of Lush, I can’t help but wonder if that’s what she was referring to in certain chapters of the book. Thanks for sharing your story Miki!