House Rules

A Memoir

By: Rachel Sontag

Narrated by: Nicole Poole

A compelling, at times horrifying work that is impossible to put down, House Rules will stand beside Running with Scissors and The Glass Castle as a memoir that cracks open the shell of a desperately dysfunctional family with impressive grace and humor. Rachel Sontag grew up the daughter of a well liked doctor in an upper middle class suburb of Chicago. The view from outside couldn't have been more perfect. But within the walls of the family home, Rachel's life was controlled and indeed terrorized by her father's serious depression. In prose that is both precise and rich, Rachel's childhood experience unfolds in a chronological recounting that shows how her father became more and more disturbed as Rachel grew up. A visceral and wrenching exploration of the impact of a damaged psyche on those nearest to him, House Rules will keep you reading even when you most wish you could look away.©2008 Rachel Sontag (P)2008 Recorded Books, LLC.

Painful and revealing

Yes, the author grew up in relative privilege, but any neglected or abused child knows that college funds and trips abroad don't make up for a self-absorbed parent's heedless cruelty. This was an infuriating listen at times, that had me talking back to her father like I wish the author could have with impunity.

A family who put fun in dysfunction

This is not a typical family, even if there really isn’t a perfect model family to compare it to. The writer’s memoir of what it was like growing up with two parents who each had their own mental illness was eye-opening. The writer’s eventual realization and ability to pinpoint how and why her own behaviors and traits were developed fascinates me. I think she is lucky because she was able to get an education and now knows what was lacking in her own life to be able to move forward and counsel others to learn to be better versions of themselves despite their upbringing. This book is not for everyone as it may be triggering for someone who grew up forced to keep the secret of having mentally unstable parents.

Honest and understated memoir

A great look at what it’s like to grow up in an affluent household and still be abused even if no one ever lays a hand on you physically. Emotional abuse is real and has its own damages. I highly recommend this book for anyone who grew up with an emotionally abusive or personality disordered parent.

An echo of my hurt

Listening to this book was something that needed to happen. My friend had read the book and saw the echo of my family, and so she recommended it. My father, like Rachel’s, was mentally unwell. In listening to this, I cried, felt the hurt, but also the healing. The book helped to give closure to what if’s that I had held on to, second guesses that I’ve let haunt me. The book is beautifully written and truly and fully expresses the complicated nature of emotional abuse.

Disappointed

Seemed pretty narcissistic in the end. Others have had it way worse. Kept waiting for some kind of horrible story.