I Can't Save You

A Memoir

By: Anthony Chin-Quee

Narrated by: Anthony Chin-Quee

The raw and gripping memoir of a Black physician who confronts his past mistakes and relationships as he learns to find his own path forward

At first glance, Anthony Chin-Quee looks like a traditional success story: a smart, ambitious kid who grew up to become a board-certified otolaryngologist—an ear, nose, and throat surgeon. Yet the truth is more complicated.

As a self-described “not white, mostly Black, and questionably Asian man,” Chin-Quee knows that he doesn’t fit easily into any category. Growing up in a family with a background of depression, he struggled with relationships, feelings of inadequacy, and a fear of failure that made it difficult for him to forge lasting bonds with others.

To repair that, he began his own unflinching examination of what it means to be both a physician and a Black man today. What saved him and his sanity was not medicine but storytelling: by sharing stories from his life and career, Chin-Quee learned how powerful the truth can be in helping to forgive yourself and others as you chart a new way forward.

By turns harrowing and hilarious, honest and human, I Can’t Save You is the fascinating true story of how looking within can change you and your life for the better.

Contents

Prologue 1

ONE: Chin-Quee, M.D. 3

TWO: A-Side—Success* 42

THREE: B-Side—The Fall 80

FOUR: You 160

FIVE: Fear of Flying 176

SIX: Rainbow Connection 212

SEVEN: Y'ain't (k)no(w) 222

EIGHT: Fatherhood 285

NINE: Eulogy 334

Acknowledgments 353

Insightful

I read this book as a female surgeon, I was not only interested in how he would describe training but also the title caught my eye …. I can’t save you. Without knowing anything about the author or the story I bought the book. Did it mean he could not save the patient or himself?

I enjoyed listening to training. I trained prior to him which even made my training more brutal. His training description was accurate however, I quit all alcohol & have never used drugs I didn’t have any energy left over in my training. Although later he explains why he used alcohol & drugs. He also talked about being a minority I almost stopped reading at this point because white women are also minorities in medicine as medicine is a white mans world. We too suffer discrimination most don’t recognize. But…. Keep reading the book only gets better after this point …, he brings it all together.

I love medicine! Despite its brutality it was my calling. He did not live medicine. Sometimes we can’t save patients & I know only I have been able to save myself through all the trials of life! But this man discovered who he was and was kind enough to share it with us! Brutally honest! Thank you!

Hidden

The things people never say out loud, skin color, and falsified archetype. Still apply. Still dangerous. Still unfair. This is true and so thank you for the view through your eyes.

Heartbreaking and incredible!

This is one of the most gut wrenching, funny, surprisingly dark pieces of non-fiction I’ve ever heard. There is so much more to this story than “just” the matter of race. I laughed, cried and nearly vomited as I listened to this memoir. The author’s beautiful voice telling his story firsthand makes it that much more powerful. Highly recommend!!!

Great story

Loved this story of the brutality and rawness of medical training, especially within framework of trauma and racism. The ending was a little light of the leaving of medicine (I wanted more about this journey).

Riveting & Heartbreaking

What a book. Such a deep, personal memoir detailing drive, disappointment, sadness and redemption. I love Tony's reading of this story - very powerful. Makes me afraid to go to a hospital for treatment by residents-in-training! I am hopeful that Tony has found his real place in the world as he is a gift. Look forward to reading more from him.