I HATE BOATING

Do Not Get Involved With Boats

By: Glen Hadley

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

The self-help book America didn't know it needed — and definitely didn't need to read on a boat.

From the author of Feel the Fear and Do Nothing Anyway comes the definitive guide to one of the most underexamined decisions in modern life: whether to get involved with a boat.

Dr. Glen Hadley has not been on a boat since July 14, 1974. He considers this his greatest personal achievement. In I Hate Boating, he shares everything he has learned in the years since — about boats, about the people who love them, about the cultural mythology that turned a fiberglass hull into a symbol of freedom, and about the complete, satisfying, entirely dry life available to anyone willing to stay on land.

Inside, you'll find:

The VESSEL Danger Scale — a six-dimension risk assessment for every major boat type, from canoes (Do Not Get Involved) to sailboats (the scale does not go this high; we consider this diagnostic)

A Field Guide to the Seven Types of Boat People — profiles of the Weekend Sailor, the Guy Who Calls It She, the Fishing Bore, the Man With the Dock, and more, with warning signs and distancing techniques for each

The ANCHOR Method — a proven framework for declining boat invitations across seven escalating stages of social pressure, including a full sample transcript

The Financial, Emotional, and Spiritual Costs of Boat Ownership — including a frank examination of the mysterious engine problem and what the sea is actually pointing at (hint: it is not the marina)

40 Scripted Refusals — for every situation from the casual Saturday invite to the wedding on a boat ("I love you. I am not getting on the boat. Both of these things are true at the same time.")

The Twelve Principles of Grounded Living, the Terrestrial Wellness Inventory, and the Thirty-Day Land Commitment Plan

A foreword by Dr. Patricia Wend, who has also not been on a boat

Part philosophy, part self-help manual, part field guide to a nautically obsessed culture, I Hate Boating is for anyone who has ever stood on a dock in boat shoes they did not want to be wearing and thought: there has to be a better way.

There is. It involves a patio, a hammock, and a very clear understanding of what the word "head" means on a boat — and why that tells you everything you need to know.

The land is enough. It has always been enough.