I'll Die After Bingo

My unlikely life as a care home assistant

By: Pope Lonergan

Narrated by: Pope Lonergan

Brought to you by Penguin.

Resident: 'I feel I want to keep talking.'

Me: 'Of course! What do you want to talk about?'

Resident: 'My heart.'

Me: 'What about your heart?'

Resident: 'I feel I want to touch it.'

Me: 'Your heart? You want to touch your heart?'

Resident: 'Yes, but I'm too frightened.'

Me: 'What are you frightened about?'

Resident: 'Everything. People. Things.'

Me: 'What's frightening you at this very moment?'

Resident: (closes eyes). 'That I'll never be touched again. That I won't be able to get to my heart.'

Me: 'Metaphorically?'

Resident: 'More carrots please.'

Whether he's initiating a coup d'état against new regulations with the residents or forging a bond with the 98-year-old who once called him a fat slut, Pope Lonergan's work is infinitely varied. This no-holds-barred account shows what life inside a care home is really like, for both residents and carers. Featuring night-time drama, incontinence pads and the uniquely dark humour of one double-amputee Alzheimer's patient, here you can learn everything you ever wanted to know (and a few things you probably really didn't) about Britain's care system.

This important memoir challenges us all to think differently about the value of our elderly, and also the carers who look after them.

©2022 Pope Lonergan (P)2022 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"From fearless and funny to heart-stoppingly raw." (Evening Standard)