Love Poems for Married People

By: John Kenney

Narrated by: John Kenney

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

Based on his wildly popular New Yorker piece, Thurber Prize-winner John Kenney presents a hilarious collection of love poems for, well, married people.

Full of brilliant wit, dynamic energy, and a heavy dose of reality, Love Poems for Married People takes the poetic form, turns it upside down and leaves it in the dishwasher to dry. Inspired by one of the most shared New Yorker pieces of all time, this collection captures the reality of life once the spark of a relationship has settled--and hilariously so. With brand new pieces that cover all areas of married life, from parental gripes to dwindling sex lives, Kenney's wry observations and sharp humor remind us exactly what it's like to spend the rest of your life with the person you love.

I was almost feeling fondness for you
As you gave me a shoulder massage at the sink--
What a small, lovely surprise.
And then you grabbed my boobs and made a "wha-wha" noise.
In an instant, I felt disgust and sadness and regret.

Critic reviews

One of NPR's Favorite Books of 2019

“Packed full of laugh-out-loud poems that are all too relatable if you are married with kids—or just married.” –The Washington Post

"Kenney's sweet, funny poems about the banal and everyday—too-true nods to the intimacy of sharing a bed with someone without touching at all, or the nothing-speak of corporate communication—make great presents for spouses, friends, and work wives." —Vanity Fair

“Will ring true for anybody who has experienced life with a spouse. Less first love and fewer passionate embraces; more sweatpants and smartphones.” —NPR

“Love Poems offers quick and mordantly witty dissections of every little thing in a marriage.”—Los Angeles Times

“For all of those who want a laugh and a look at married life...Whether it's forgetting it's Valentine's Day to unspoken signals to not living up to your dating profile, these are all relatable and funny poems.”—Parkersburg News and Sentinel