No Country for Old Gnomes

The Tales of Pell

By: Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson

Narrated by: Luke Daniels

Go big or go gnome. The New York Times bestselling authors of Kill the Farm Boy welcome you to the world of Pell, the irreverent fantasy universe that recalls Monty Python and Terry Pratchett.

“A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”—Locus

War is coming, and it’s gonna be Pell.

On one side stand the gnomes: smol, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty.

On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight. And pretty much anything else.

It takes only one halfling bomb and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside down—or downside up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. His goth cardigans and aggressive melancholy set him apart from the other gnomes, as does his decision to fight back against their halfling oppressors. Suddenly Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts—from a gryphon who would literally kill for omelets to a young dwarf herbalist who is better with bees than with his cudgel to an assertive and cheerful teen witch with a beard as long as her book of curses—all on a journey to the Toot Towers to confront the dastardly villain intent on tearing Pell asunder. These adventurers never fit in anywhere else, but as they become friends, fight mermaids, and get really angry at this one raccoon, they learn that there’s nothing more heroic than being yourself.

In No Country for Old Gnomes, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly tweak the tropes of fantasy and fairy tales. Here you’ll find goofy jokes and whimsical puns, but you’ll also find a diverse, feminist, and lighthearted approach to fantasy that will bring a smile to your face and many fine cheeses to your plate.

Critic reviews

“Hilarious . . . Dawson and Hearne present another puntastic adventure set in the universe of their Tales of Pell series [with] laugh-out-loud trials, tribulations, and wanderings of a completely new band of endearing eccentrics.”—Booklist

“No Country For Old Gnomes is good fun, full of laughs, clever details, and characters . . . in whom you may see a little of yourself.”—Elitist Book Reviews

“[A] hilarious new fantasy comedy.”—Bustle

“A complete delight, as fluffy and fun as The Lego Movie and as heartfelt as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.”—Locus

fun and funny

I really enjoyed "Kill the Farm boy", but this was genuinely better in every way.

Excellent listen. If you love to laugh you need this book.

Made me laugh so hard. Definitely my new favorite authors. Can't wait to see whats next.

No Country for Old Gnomes - audible

The plot was interesting. The characters are well developed and likable. Even the bad ones are interesting. The author mixes in some humor. The narrator did a wonderful job. Overall, a great book. I look forward to the authors next book.

Fantastical tale!

Another knock-it-out-of-park collaboration between Kevin and Luke. A great story brought to life by the narration. I was sad when it ended. A++++

Another great!

They did it again! Perfect narration, thoroughly entertaining story, the works! Do yourself a favor and take some time to enjoy this book and this series.