Not So Nice Guy

By: Phil Torcivia

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Love ... Who needs it?

I don’t know if this just comes with age or what, but I’m less patient with my relationships when I should probably be more patient. The first sign of any drama, no matter how sexually starved I happen to be, and I lose her number. Perhaps this makes me unpopular with the ladies. Maybe I’m getting a reputation.

Meh

What I am hoping is that by reading my take on the whole mating game, you’ll have a better appreciation for whatever predicament you’re in, be that anything between marital bliss and been lovin’ your fist.

Karma Kicked Me

Sure, I’m bitter sometimes. Aren’t you? How often do you let karma kick you before you become jaded like me and begin to expect it? So, you’re pissed. He dumps you for a skank-hole. Go ahead and be hurt—that’s natural. It’s an ego slap. As you age, you’ll begin to take these more in stride. Sure, you’ll complain to a friend, relative, or co-worker, but you’ll get over it.

Look at this book as my way of getting over it. A collection of irreverent, sarcastic, vulgar, crude, whatever-you-call-it essays containing my odd perception of life, which might lower my blood pressure by writing and generate a giggle or two for the reader.

WARNING: F-Word Used Over 160 Times

Before we go any further, let me warn you that I love to cuss. F-ing love it. You’ll read plenty of bad words, so reading aloud is strongly discouraged unless you’re in church.

Also, since I have taken certain liberties with our language and am a bit whiny and insensitive, I’ve decided to enhance this tome with—drum roll, please—recipes!

Yay, Recipes!

Cheers, my dears.