Now I Am Here

Winner of the RSL Christopher Bland Prize

By: Chidi Ebere

Narrated by: Ben Arogundade

In Now I Am Here, we begin at the end. The armies of the National Defence Movement have been crushed and our unnamed narrator and his unit are surrounded. Prepared for defeat at the hands of the enemy and with only his sins for company, he turns to confession. As he recounts the events leading to his disastrous finale, we learn how this gentle man is gradually transformed into a war criminal, committing acts he wouldn’t have thought himself capable.

Chidi Ebere’s debut is a profound reflection on how good people can do terrible things – precipitated by circumstances and the violence of war. Unflinching, thought-provoking and devastating, Now I Am Here resonates far beyond the individual story of our narrator. Perfect for readers of Uzo Iweala’s Beasts of No Nation, Giles Foden’s The Last King of Scotland and Abdulrazak Gurnah’s Afterlives.

Critic reviews

Stunning and raw. I yearned, alongside this narrator, for the peace of undoing what has been done. (Jackie Polzin, author of Brood)

Clear, unsparing confession, with moments of insight, gentleness and even beauty. A powerful novel that traces the process of desensitisation, yet is seamed with tenderness. (Kiare Ladner, author of Nightshift)