Parsnips, Buttered

The hilarious, bestselling book from comedian Joe Lycett, perfect for Christmas gifting

By: Joe Lycett

Narrated by: Joe Lycett

Dear Listener,

Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.

Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.

While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.

I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to:

- Reverse a parking fine
- Manipulate the tabloid press
- Navigate social media
- Respond to hate mail
- Out-weird internet trolls
- Contest a so-called ripe avocado
- Send the perfect Christmas newsletter
- Defeat ISIS
- Take down multi-national companies
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Joe Lycett x

* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

(P)2016 Hodder & Stoughton©2016 Joe Lycett

Very entertaining!

Anyone who enjoys British humor ought to enjoy Joe’s book. His performance is perfect and makes the book 100 times more enjoyable. If you like light-hearted comedy and some ridiculous ‘one liner’ jokes, you’d probably enjoy this one.

I like Joe Lycett

I think Joe is very funny. I enjoyed the book, but I was sorry that he had no mention of Sarah Millican, when she had such a delightful story about him in her book "How to be Champion" (available on Audible).

Same jokes, but never dull.

I could listen to Joe Lycett talk all day! The narration is top-tier. I would definitely listen to him read other audiobooks. Unfortunately, this book contains the same material as his stand up. There's nothing new. During his stand up, his use of visual aids really elevates the jokes. You don't get to experience them with an audiobook. It was still good, just not what I was expecting.

I Lycett!

Joe Lycett never disappoints. His style of internet trolling is second to none. It's what I like to call "splendid f**kery" and Joe is a master.

Brilliant

He is just a fantastic comedian. Beloved troll! I love him! Wish I could see him perform in person.