Perfection

A Memoir of Betrayal and Renewal

By: Julie Metz

Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell

Julie Metz's life changes forever on one ordinary January afternoon when her husband, Henry, collapses on the kitchen floor and dies in her arms. Suddenly, this mother of a six-year-old is the young widow in a bucolic small town. And this is only the beginning. Seven months after Henry's death, just when Julie thinks she is emerging from the worst of it, comes the rest of it: She discovers that what had appeared to be the reality of her marriage was but a half-truth. Henry had hidden another life from her.

"He loved you so much." That's what everyone keeps telling her. It's true that he loved Julie and their six-year-old daughter ebulliently and devotedly, but as she starts to pick up the pieces and rebuild her life without Henry in it, she learns that Henry had been unfaithful throughout their twelve years of marriage. The most damaging affair was ongoing -- a tumultuous relationship that ended only with Henry's death.

For Julie, the only thing to do was to get at the real truth--to strip away the veneer of "perfection" that was her life and confront each of the women beneath the veneer. Perfection is the story of Julie Metz's journey through chaos and transformation as she creates a different life for herself and her young daughter. It is the story of coming to terms with painful truths, of rebuilding both a life and an identity after betrayal and widowhood. It is a story of rebirth and happiness -- if not perfection.©2009 Julie Metz; (P)2009 Hyperion

Critic reviews

"In lyrical, moving prose, we're treated to a powerful story of love, infidelity, grief--and starting over."—Working Mother

"A visual standout. [Metz] brings refreshing candor to a startling, painful tale."—The New York Times, Janet Maslin

"Heart-wrenching but triumphant."—Glamour

"A fascinating memoir by a woman who, after learning of her much-loved late husband's history of affairs, decides to confront her former rivals."—People Magazine

"Readers will be mesmerized. Her honesty about middle-aged sex and fear of never finding the "new" right someone make this a delectable summer read."—USA Today

"You'll be absorbed by the real-life sleuthing in Perfection, a riveting memoir about a widow who discovers that her late husband lived a deceptive double life."—Real Simple

"It is impossible to put PERFECTION down as we follow Julie Metz through her true story of love, lies, loss and moving forward. Her raw and brave writing makes you want to cheer Metz on as she pieces her life back together, one beautiful sentence at a time."—Marian Fontana, author of A WIDOW'S WALK

"Julie Metz's memoir of how her marriage unraveled after her mate's death is piercingly honest, haunting and heartbreaking. Anyone who has ever been in a bad relationship will over-identify."—Susan Shapiro, author of FIVE MEN WHO BROKE MY HEART and LIGHTING UP

"Metz's Perfection chronicles with lapidary precision one woman's climb back to happiness after not just a spouse's death, but also the shocking recognition that her life before that death was not what she had thought it was. The journey is a painful one, but Ms. Metz is much the stronger for having survived to recount it."—Julie Powell, author of JULIE & JULIA

"This aching memoir of love, loss, and deception is candid and compelling. I found myself rooting for Julie Metz in her search for a happy second life."—Hilma Wolitzer, author of THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER and HEARTS

"Lyrical, haunting, and utterly gripping."—Redbook

"A dark, evocative memoir from a woman forced to come to terms with her husband's death and the revelation of his infidelity."—Shelf Awareness

Compelling

Though at times I found this book and the author frustrating, I couldn't stop listening to it. I always like to hear Cassandra Campbell's voice so that was a big enhancement. But, the subject was also compelling. A couple is married for 16 years, the husband dies very suddenly at 44, and the wife subsequently finds out he was unfaithful...many times over. Some of Julie's behaviors and her "living in denial" are hard to swallow and the book is too long, but Julie's story is engaging.

Perfection!

I love the raw honesty in her writing. I felt like I was in the story - feeling her heart ripping out of her chest for her. How traumatic to go through first losing your husband at such a young age to only turn the corner and find out that your life as you know it is a facade. Thats a hard pill to swallow and it happens more often than we realize.

Bold and surprising

The best thing about this memoir is how the author had the nerve to call and interview her husband's mistresses. Which of us doesn't sit up nights peeking at Facebook, wondering about the other woman? Well, listen to this memoir and you can be there with the narrator as she calls and asks questions of her dead husband's many other women. You get to be a fly on the wall and one of the mistresses turns out to be really nice to the wronged wife. This would be good for anyone who's ever wondered, "What did she have that I didn't?" It doesn't answer that question for sure, but the reader begins to realize her husband probably was locked in a cheating spiral that wasn't making him happy, looking for something he couldn't find because he was unhappy with himself. Or something like that--in other words, the other women didn't have something the wife didn't have. The husband wasn't having this happy-go-lucky party while doing all his cheating--he was unhappy and looking for something that could probably never be satisfied.

Learning of Relationship of 10 years just before husband’s death

After 41 year of marriage my husband of 88 passed away. 9 days before he passed he confessed to a 10 year relationship he had with one of our employees. He was very sick and when he told me I had my head in his lap and I immediately said I knew and I forgive you. That was easy in the moment and in his condition. But as I lay in the hospital room on my cot that night my heart broke and my mine begin spinning. I needed to know more about this. I had confronted him years ago and ask sitting in our bed one evening, were they having an affair and he denied it and then sometime later sitting on the beach at our house he again denied. At that moment I made the unhealthy decision to have faith in him and believe his answer. Why didn’t I trust my instinct and ask more questions. In the hospital there were 2 days of my cool reaction to this sick man but then I decided I had no choice but to show my love in what turned out to be his last days. i regret that he told me at this time. I don’t know if it was remorse or for his own need for a confession. But now i am struggling with losing my husband, who was the perfect husband as far as I knew and the lose of what I and our community thought was 2 very devoted people truly living a beautiful happy life. The answer here, trust your instincts and ask questions even if they are difficult and tell what makes you think this is happening.

Self-indulgent

Would you try another book from Julie Metz and/or Cassandra Campbell?

I found the author's writing about herself and her life to be unaware and self-indulgent. It offered no insight and therefore was not interesting to read. Her stance sounded more like a victim who was getting out her self-pity in a book -- something better left to a private diary that others don't ever read.

The reader was good but it can't make up for poor content. Save yourself time and money. Don't waste your time on this book.

By contrast, the best autobiography I have ever read about someone losing their spouse is called Grace and Grit by Treya and Ken Wilber - an intense read and amazing book!