Refusing Compulsory Sexuality

A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture

By: Sherronda J. Brown, Grace B Freedom, Hess Love - introduction

Narrated by: Yu-Li Alice Shen

For readers of Ace and Belly of the Beast: A Black queer feminist exploration of asexuality--and an incisive interrogation of the sex-obsessed culture that invisibilizes and ignores asexual and A-spec identity.

Everything you know about sex and asexuality is (probably) wrong.

The notion that everyone wants sex--and that we all have to have it--is false. It’s intertwined with our ideas about capitalism, race, gender, and queerness. And it impacts the most marginalized among us. For asexual folks, it means that ace and A-spec identity is often defined by a queerness that’s not queer enough, seen through a lens of perceived lack: lack of pleasure, connection, joy, maturity, and even humanity.

In this exploration of what it means to be Black and asexual in America today, Sherronda J. Brown offers new perspectives on asexuality. She takes an incisive look at how anti-Blackness, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and capitalism enact harm against asexual people, contextualizing acephobia within a racial framework in the first book of its kind. Brown advocates for the “A” in LGBTQIA+, affirming that to be asexual is to be queer--despite the gatekeeping and denial that often says otherwise.

With chapters on desire, f*ckability, utility, refusal, and possibilities, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality discusses topics of deep relevance to ace and a-spec communities. It centers the Black asexual experience--and demands visibility in a world that pathologizes and denies asexuality, denigrates queerness, and specifically sexualizes Black people.

A necessary and unapologetic reclamation, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is smart, timely, and an essential read for asexuals, aromantics, queer readers, and anyone looking to better understand sexual politics in America.

relatable (love it)

I've been an outspoken mixed race asexual for about 8 years now. it's very nice hearing I'm not alone, at all. these experiences I've had are not isolated to me alone. thank you so much for writing this Sherronda!

Their pen!

Brown articulates so many topics in that I’ve contemplated and resonated with yet could not quite explain. Grateful for their mind!

Eye Opening and Validating

Three things: Firstly, the narration done by Yu-Li Alice Shen was impeccable! Secondly, Sherronda J. Brown should have won an award for this book and it is an injustice that she did not. Thirdly, this book was well written, expertly researched and highly educational and validating. Sherronda writes from a rarely seen perspective that is highly refreshing and informative, while reaffirming the existence of acespec individuals living within a society that would often times wish to erase it or overwrite it. Bravo!

Finally

I loved this book & didn't want it to end! I feel validated in a way that I didn't feel with Ace by Angela Chen (started that book when it first came out & still working on it). I now have language that describes how I've felt my entire life. The book is academic in it's approach & I quickly got used to it. I wish they went with a Black narrator, but Yu-Li Alice Shen did a great job! Sherronda J. Brown, thank you!

finally a meaningful systemic analysis of asexuality

I am a white asexual who recently discovered my asexuality at the age of 35. I have always not-quite-related to the experiences I read of asexuals. The thing that I was missing was the information shared in this book. Asexuality is not just a cute quirk, it is an identity just as queer and oppressed as any other queer identity. This book has deep wisdom to offer regarding the evils of colonialism and the ways those evils work on the minds, bodies, and spirits of asexuals. I got a lot out of it in terms of both learning how to love and relate to myself and how to better support and understand the black asexual experience.