Run, Hide, Repeat

A Memoir of a Fugitive Childhood

By: Pauline Dakin

Narrated by: Pauline Dakin

Winner of the 2018 Edna Staebler Award for Creative Non-Fiction

Longlisted for British Columbia's National Award for Canadian Non-Fiction 2018

Shortlisted for the 2018 Evelyn Richardson Non-fiction Award

Shortlisted for the 2018 Atlantic Book Awards - Margaret and John Savage First Book Award

Shortlisted for the 2018 Frank Hegyi Award for Emerging Authors


An unforgettable family tale of deception and betrayal, love and forgiveness

Pauline Dakin spent her childhood on the run. Without warning, her mother twice uprooted her and her brother, moving thousands of miles away from family and friends. Disturbing events interrupt their outwardly normal life: break-ins, car thefts, even physical attacks on a family friend. Many years later, her mother finally revealed they'd been running from the Mafia and were receiving protection from a covert anti-organized crime task force.
But the truth was even more bizarre. Gradually, Dakin's fears give way to suspicion. She puts her journalistic training to work and discovers that the Mafia threat was actually an elaborate web of lies. As she revisits her past, Dakin uncovers the human capacity for betrayal and deception, and the power of love to forgive.
Run, Hide, Repeat is a memoir of a childhood steeped in unexplained fear and menace. Gripping and suspenseful, it moves from Dakin's uneasy acceptance of her family's dire situation to bewildered anger. As compelling and twisted as a thriller, Run Hide Repeat is an unforgettable portrait of a family under threat, and the resilience of family bonds.

Critic reviews

One of The Globe and Mail's 100 Best Books of 2017

“Dakin’s childhood on the run has all the elements of a great thriller. There are last-minute cross-country escapes, a web of dark family secrets, and a desperately agreed-to vow of silence. But it is ultimately a fable about the power of the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of our lives . . .”
—The New York Times

"What happens when 'Fake News' takes over your family? This harrowing true story reads like a psychological thriller—I was haunted by it." —Plum Johnson, author of They Left Us Everything

"From a childhood marked by secrets and sudden moves to an adulthood where truth—and lies—of the past are laid bare, Run, Hide, Repeat is a fascinating story of family, deception, and forgiveness." —Sonja Larsen, author of Red Star Tattoo

“Mystery rolls in like the tide in this story — without fail, over and over.” –Chatelaine

“This twisted page-turner brings the truth to the forefront, while Dakin tries to master the art of forgiveness.” —Canadian Living

"This is a well-paced and engrossing memoir where Dakin's skills as long-time CBC health reporter uncover one final, startling revelation."—The Globe and Mail

“Run, Hide, Repeat is part crime thriller, part scientific analysis of delusional disorder.” –Calgary Herald

A study and journey into rare mental illness

I found this to be an informative, well written, reality show. What a life! The author, narrator did a wonderful job. I can, and can’t imagine going through all the authors family went through living this life. I enjoyed this book more than anything I have listened to for quite a while.

amazing story!

this book was truly amazing! it is an incredible story expertly written. If I had the opportunity I would have listened to the entire book in one sitting.

Fascinating story. Flawed execution.

This is the story of a woman who grew up in the shadow of her care. Giver's delusional reality. It gives a rare look into an unstudied mental disorder. It is obvious that the author is not hey professional writer. It is also obvious that the author is still in mourning of the mother who's delusions shaped her life. The author goes out of her way to make sure that the reader knows that the author loves her mother, her mother was not at fault and her mother was smart. It becomes boring and exhausting. Too many ideas are repeated unnecessarily. I would absolutely recommend learning about this story.But I wouldn't recommend this book.

Answers to many of my own questions

I just finished this book and it has given me many answers to my own life and upbringing. Much like the author of this story, I often wondered why my own mother acts and the way she does. But most importantly why I was raised the way I was. It struck a nerve with me when pauline would get the response from her own mother “I’ll tell you when you’re older” when she would question some of the things her mother did. Unfortunately, I have never gotten an answer. I believe my mother also suffers from the same psychological problems that are associated and described in this book. I can’t thank Pauline enough for authoring this book and giving me at least in part closure and understanding about my own upbringing. Please purchase and listen to this book. Even if you didn’t have weird parents I believe it’s an important topic that needs further evaluation and understanding. To Pauline, thank you…

Don’t give up on this book!

I almost returned this book because the beginning is a little boring. I thought it was going to be the usual battered woman story. It’s not! I admit once the real story began when she was an adult, I got sucked into an amazing story but the twists and turns that followed were even more shocking. Worth reading to the very end.