Some People Should Not Have Dogs, Cats, or Kids

By: Jerrimiah Stonecastle

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

A Darkly Comic Guide to Crimes Against Common Sense

Step into the absurd, infuriating, and dangerously funny world observed by Jerrimiah Stonecastle, a man who has seen enough to believe that certain individuals should come with a warning label and a mandatory common-sense test.

In this blisteringly sharp collection, Stonecastle documents the breathtaking acts of obliviousness performed daily by people who have been entrusted with living creatures. With the unflinching eye of a detective building a case for Felony Stupidity, he catalogs the moments that make you gasp, laugh, and question the very fabric of human judgment.

From the Florida retiree who turns a chihuahua into an alligator’s appetizer, to the thrill-seeker whose Pomeranian faces a bug-blasted future, to the parent who treats a child like a poorly-secured grocery bag—no act of reckless ownership is safe from his darkly comedic scrutiny.

Some People Should Not Have Dogs, Cats, or Kids is a riotous, cathartic, and necessary read for anyone who has ever watched a stranger in public and thought, “You are the reason we can’t have nice things.” It’s a testament to the survival of the fittest… and a biting indictment of those who are weakening the gene pool, one irresponsible decision at a time.

Consider this your front-row ticket to the Darwin Awards… in progress.

Praise for Jerrimiah Stonecastle:

“A savagely funny, painfully accurate mirror held up to the face of modern idiocy. I laughed until I cried and then called Animal Control.”

“Stonecastle doesn’t just observe—he prosecutes, with wit as his gavel and humor as his weapon. The world is his courtroom of fools.”

“The perfect book for anyone who needs to vent their daily frustration with the human race. Dark comedy at its most relatable and ruthless.”