Stay with Me, I Want to Be Alone

A Chaplain's Search for Meaning (A Spiritual Care Memoir of Grief, Loss and Chaplaincy)

By: Keith Wakefield

Narrated by: Keith W Wakefield

Keith Wakefield became a chaplain because of Guns N’ Roses. As a child burdened by fear of failure, he was inspired by Axl Rose’s heart-on-his-sleeve honesty. That raw search for meaning carried him into chaplaincy, where every day he sits with patients and families facing overwhelming loss, end-of-life diagnoses, and the questions that come with them: How do I go on? Where do I find strength? What really matters now?

In Stay with Me, I Want to Be Alone, Wakefield invites listeners into the hidden world of hospital chaplaincy — where grief support, spiritual care, and the search for meaning collide. With stories that are sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes funny, and always human, he shows what it means to be fully present at the bedside of the dying.

This deeply personal spiritual memoir blends humor, vulnerability, and insight to reveal:

What chaplains really do in hospitals and at the end of life.

Practical lessons on grief, presence, and how to support others through suffering.

Honest stories that move from boredom to hilarity, panic to peace, devastating loss to unexpected grace.

Written with candor, wit, and reverence, Wakefield offers an unforgettable look at death, dying, and what the living can learn from both. Vulnerable and curious, sometimes snarky and irreverent, his lyrical voice carries the clarity and hope of a true spiritual traveler.

For listeners of memoirs on grief, end-of-life care, and spiritual growth. This book belongs alongside titles by Atul Gawande, Kate Bowler, and Paul Kalanithi.

©2025 Keith W Wakefield (P)2025 Keith W Wakefield

Critic reviews

“Made me laugh, cry, and want to become a chaplain.” —Neil Wenger, MD, MPH

“Seamlessly weaves memoir and chaplaincy into universal human truth.” —James A. Hynds, PhD

“Brings humanity, humor, and reverence to chaplaincy.” —Rev. Gina Harvey, ACPE CE, BCC

A Chaplaincy Must

Right now I’m in my 3rd quarter of CPE. I really appreciated the Author’s candidness. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share your true feelings.

Amazing

This was an amazing book about what it takes to be a chaplain and all of the complicated and challenging situations that the chaplain will find themselves in. The stories told gave me a view of what this line of work entails, really opening up my mind to a new level of healthcare that I wasn’t aware of before. I would highly recommend this book to anybody.

Wow. Chaplains have the work cut out for them!

The role of a chaplain who would have thought! This book was written with honesty and details. Must listen!

Compelling, Thoughtful, and Beautiful

I'm a student in a Masters of Chaplaincy, and deeply appreciated this book. Keith was able to express many of the struggles and joys of Chaplaincy and CPE in ways I hadn't read in other books. Thanks for your work, Keith.