The Astonishing Color of After

By: Emily X.R. Pan

Narrated by: Stephanie Hsu

A stunning, heartbreaking debut novel about grief, love, and family, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Celeste Ng.

Leigh Chen Sanders is absolutely certain about one thing: When her mother died by suicide, she turned into a bird.

Leigh, who is half Asian and half white, travels to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents for the first time. There, she is determined to find her mother, the bird. In her search, she winds up chasing after ghosts, uncovering family secrets, and forging a new relationship with her grandparents. And as she grieves, she must try to reconcile the fact that on the same day she kissed her best friend and longtime secret crush, Axel, her mother was taking her own life.

Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a stunning and heartbreaking novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love.

"Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book."--John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down

Critic reviews

Praise for The Astonishing Color of After:A New York Times bestsellerAn IndieBound bestsellerBustle Best of YA Books of 2018A Paste Magazine Best Young Adult Novel of 2018Winner of the Walter Honor AwardWinner of the APALA Honor Award

"Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book."—John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down

"Magic and mourning, love and loss, secrets kept and secrets revealed all illuminate Emily X.R. Pan's inventive and heart-wrenching debut."—Gayle Forman, bestselling author of If I Stay and I Was Here

"Emily X.R. Pan utterly transported me to a world reminiscent of Isabel Allende. Haunting at every turn, this is a glorious debut."—p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Times}Renée Ahdieh, bestselling author of The Wrath and the Dawn

"An extraordinary debut from a fiercely talented writer."—p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Times}Nova Ren Suma, bestselling author of The Walls Around Us

"This beautiful, magical journey through grief made my heart take flight."—p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Times}Holly Black, bestselling author of The Cruel Prince and The Darkest Part of the Forest

"The Astonishing Color of After works a delicate magic. Its portrayal of grief is deeply felt, and so too is its deliciously tricky romance. I loved this book."—p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Times}Marie Rutkoski, bestselling author of The Winner's Curse

"My heart has never been more pleasantly devastated. A raw and brilliant debut."—p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Times}Roshani Chokshi, bestselling author of The Star-Touched Queen

"lyrical and suspenseful"—The New York Times Book Review

"In this dazzling debut, author Emily X.R. Pan has created a spellbinding narrative about love, family, and what it means to grieve."—Bustle

* "Dynamic, brave Leigh emerges vividly in Pan's deft hand, and her enthralling journey through her grief glows with stunning warmth, strength, and resilience."—Booklist, starred review

* "Pan's emotionally charged debut is a compelling exploration of grief and the insidiousness of depression."—Publishers Weekly, starred review

* "Pan's debut novel is not to be missed."—School Library Journal, starred review

* "This novel is as elegant as it is mesmerizing."—VOYA, starred review

* "Pan offers an extraordinary journey that proves real, surreal, and wholly magical."—Shelf Awareness

OMG

This book was fantastic. Stephanie Hsu was a fantastic narrator, and she conveyed proper emotion when needed. The plot of the book was well written and the loose ends tied up seamlessly. There were so many plot twists and I was never bored. The focus on oriental beliefs was a plus, as I am always eager to learn. Team Axel+Lee forever!!!!

Just not for me

This is a wonderful, beautiful story where the telling just wasn’t my cup of tea. I think if it was significantly shorter, I would have enjoyed it more but the search in the middle was very very drawn out.

Astonishing

This story of finding peace and love after loss was amazing. It struck me how much my find visualized the events as they took place.

soo amazing

I loved this book it was as oddly relatable to my life I loved when the 2 bestfriends in the end confessed the love for eachother that grown wildly over time. this book is a book to remember and defenitly gonna read it again.

Impeccable writing, slow build

While the story itself seemed to move along rather slowly, the writing was outstanding and the ending was worth the read.