The Failed Lawyer

The story of a would-be detective

By: Peter Zander-Howell

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

A few months in the life of a young London man in 1952
At school, Morris Major almost obsessively read every crime fiction novel he could get his hands on, and from about the age of twelve decided that he wanted to be a detective of some sort. However, he found later that there were considerable difficulties even to start on this career path, and by the time he left school he had reluctantly abandoned that ambition, and decided to be a barrister instead.
In due course he was called to the bar, but then had to start his National Service. That duty completed, he returned to the barristers’ chambers where he had undergone his pupillage, and prepared to start work.
Unfortunately, things did not go well. Morris had certain idiosyncrasies which were incompatible with the requirements to advise clients and to address courts. After a number of embarrassing incidents, he resigned from his chambers.
However, after that nadir, things began to look up – first of all in his hitherto largely barren love life.
But by a complete accident of fate, he became involved in a sudden death. Using his innate intelligence, he was was able to persuade the police that their solution – although self-evidently the correct one – was in fact wrong.
To be a private detective was, of course, one of the options he had dreamed about as a schoolboy, but having been thrust into a situation where he had been inadvertently cast into such a role, he found the reality not entirely to his liking. Yes, it was satisfying to work out what had really happened, but this pleasure had to be balanced against a great deal of unpleasantness.
The experience did, however, give him an idea.
Two subsequent incidents concerning the police sufficed to convince him that being a detective – whether a policeman or one of the the private variety so beloved by crime fiction authors and their readers – was a profession that he was glad he had been unable to enter.
He determined to start a totally different career.