The Make-Believe

A Memoir of Magic and Madness

By: Hannah Murray

From Skins and Games of Thrones star Hannah Murray, a deeply intimate, shockingly honest memoir about fame, mental illness, and the struggle to leave a shadowy wellness organization whose belief in magic shattered her reality.

“Extraordinary—propulsive, immersive; like nothing I have ever read.”—Dolly Alderton
“A remarkable book about the cost of wanting to be saved.”—Ruth Wariner

I lost my mind. I lost my self. I got them back. But they are different . . .

From her breakout role as a teen actor on the cult TV show Skins, to critically acclaimed movies, to the smash hit Game of Thrones, Hannah Murray built a career in Hollywood cracking open her own psychological foundations and pushing her body to its limits. But one day, the line between make-believe and reality disappeared, and she found herself confined to a psych ward, dangerously in love with the leader of a shadowy wellness organization, and believing in magic. How she got there—and how she managed to rebuild her life—is the heart of this gripping, powerful memoir that asks: How far would you go to find enlightenment?

For Hannah, it was deceptively easy to fall down the rabbit hole. As she struggled with her mental health, she sought help in the form of wellness and self-care. After an eye-opening session with an energy healer, Hannah was introduced to an organization that she was told would bring her further spiritual rewards. Enthralled by its charismatic leader and his teachings of a world filled with magic and meaning, Hannah found herself sucked into a rigorous practice involving high control and financial outlay. And as her sense of reality began to slip, eventually resulting in her hospitalization and diagnosis with bipolar disorder, she realized she had fully ceded control of her life to this mysterious organization. And, she thought, as she reckoned with the Hollywood career that conditioned her to give her body and soul over to others, maybe she’d been doing that her whole life.

Both a cautionary tale and a cry for radical empathy, Hannah’s story of learning to trust herself will resonate with anyone who has struggled to find agency. The Make-Believe is a probing exploration of womanhood and mental health, and a search for the healing that comes when we reclaim our own narratives.

Critic reviews

“In The Make-Believe, Hannah Murray traces the subtle architecture of belief: how need becomes trust, and trust becomes surrender. What makes this memoir so remarkable is what Murray resists—she does not cast herself as a victim or offer easy lessons. Instead, she reveals, moment by moment, how a person in search of healing can gradually lose herself. The power lies in the restraint, in the questions left unanswered. This is a book about the cost of wanting to be saved.”—Ruth Wariner, New York Times bestselling author of The Sound of Gravel

“A memoir of real literary power that wields a writer’s full tool kit, with finger-biting dramatic irony, vivid sensory evocation, and pithy statements of uncomfortable truth. . . . The premise is fascinating, but her execution is what makes this story uniquely compelling.”—Naoise Dolan, author of Exciting Times

“I was deeply moved by this vital, brave memoir. Hannah Murray’s compelling account of her experience is intensely open-hearted and lyrical, depicting just how porous the boundaries and realities of our lives can become. A stunning achievement.”—Sophie Mackintosh, author of The Water Cure

“A page-turning and generous book that is intensely concerned with what it means to be human. Hannah Murray is a masterful storyteller.”—Rebecca Watson, author of Little Scratch

“This book is brilliantly and beautifully written, fast-flowing, deeply felt and observed. Hannah Murray is a writer of tremendous skill and fearlessness.”—Daisy Johnson, author of Sisters

“An extraordinary memoir—propulsive, immersive; like nothing I have ever read before. I read it in one day and thought about it for weeks afterwards.”—Dolly Alderton, New York Times bestselling author of Good Material

“Reading The Make-Believe, I shivered as I recognized the terror and seduction entwined in Hannah Murray’s story. This memoir is harrowing, yes—but it is also exquisitely written, tracing the fracture of a mind and the fierce, fragile work of reclaiming it.”—Daniella Mestyanek Young, author of Uncultured