The Meaning of Matthew

My Son's Murder in Laramie, and a World Transformed

By: Judy Shepard

Narrated by: Judy Shepard

Unabridged CDs * 7 CDs, 9 hours

The mother of Matthew Shepard shares her story about her son’s death and the choice she made to become an international gay rights activist.

Critic reviews

Praise for The Meaning of Matthew

“This book is beautiful: heartbreaking, honest, and written with a lovely open voice that makes the familiar story of the Shepard family's loss all the more devastating.”—Newsweek

“The courage of Judy Shepard is unfathomable...but her message prevails: Tolerance and love must always overcome hatred.”—Entertainment Weekly

“[This] towers over the majority of books written about high-profile issues and events...Judy Shepard is one woman telling one story—which she does with eloquence and heart.”—Chicago Sun-Times

“Honest, brave, and beautiful! This books breaks your heart. It is as much Matthew's story as it is the story of a woman's awakening to her position and power in history, as a mother, as a human rights activist, as a citizen. And it's told with the clarity and non-nonsense wisdom that have become Judy's trademarks.”—Moisés Kaufman, author with the member of Tectonic Theater Project of The Laramie Project

“In this extraordinary volume, a courageous, eloquent, and devoted mother tells the world the deeply moving story of her son, Matthew Shepard, whose tragic death in 1998 shocked the conscience of our country. Ever since that horrible hate crime, Judy Shepard has dedicated her own life to promoting tolerance and understanding. Now, in her own beautiful words, Judy gives us all a greater understanding of Matthew and the larger meaning of his life."—Senator Edward M. Kennedy

“Gives us a chance to know the young man whose brutal death started a movement that inspired the enactment of the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Law. Raw, honest and real, with some surprising new details never before published.”—Kathi Isserman, Curve Magazine

“Shepard writes in a quiet, graceful voice about love, acceptance, and having a hole in one's heart the size of a missing child...While Matthew became a national symbol for homophobic victimization, for Judy Shepard it is the story of a mother and the tragic loss of her son.”—Terri Schlichenmeyer, The Gay & Lesbian Review Worldwide

Good listen!!

Its a sad story and for his mom n dad to deal with it and stay strong, bless them!!

Heartbreaking

I would recommend this books to anyone that would like to hear their story as it happened through the eyes and ears of those who love Matthew

I cried

I started it on my bus rides to a semester final then finished it in the library after. Cried on the bus. Judy truly did a great job giving me information and emotion that paired with it.

I love this book...

Such a beautiful yet heart-rending story and one that I can never forget. His life was so important to all of us.

Patience, Faith, Reward

I purchased this eBook, because I needed to hear Judy’s voice as she recalled her own words.

I too have a son and he is gay. I have lived as a lesbian and now as a trans masculine human ‘being.’

Judy, your words struck me throughout. I once lived in Casper and worked for a short time for KCWY-TV. I know of the winds you spoke of.

I live in the mountains of Colorado (Georgetown, CO).

I was struck that you shared you were a Job’s Daughter (Patience, Faith, Reward). What I learned from those words from the time I was twelve to the time of receiving my majority at eighteen have never left me.

During times of hate (yes, I have been called creepy by members of my synagogue and was Torah thumped by my own rabbi, has taught me to see the spark of the divine in everyone; including those whose cruelty toward made me feel like I needed a bag over my head. When I met with the rabbi and one woman that shamed me in front of the congregation, I was given the message that if I didn’t look the way I did, no one would make fun of me to my face. I asked them how a blind person would see me? Not for my tattoos or changing body; but for how I treated people. I have always looked someone in their eyes to see their soul, not their hairstyle, tattoos, style of dress, what kind of cars they drive or how big of a house they have.

Near the end of our meeting, I explained that how I dress, what bathroom I decide on, is about me; not to make anyone else feel better.

I explained that my tattoos were my form of cutting and it was either doing that, or taking my own life.

My adopted mom gave me one dollar and her contempt when she died. It was to write me out of her life and Will. The dollar was so I would not contest anything. I didn’t want money, I wanted her acceptance.

The last thing I said during my meeting with my rabbi and the one congregant was this, ‘This is exactly why I love dogs more than people. Dogs have never treated me the way people have.’

I have an identical twin. She is heterosexual and it pains her that I have never been prissy and had the desire to play house while growing up or wanting to do as she and our mom wanted. Our adult life have been bouts of her going away for decades at a time. She just couldn’t handle how I was living. In 2023 I had to go away. She lives in Florida and stated that what Gov. DeSantis was doing was not about me and what was happening in Florida would not affect me in Colorado. At the time, the Gov. Polard (a Governor that was also a gay man), made Colorado a sanctuary State for transgender people. I knew the ‘Don’t say Gay,’ the book bans, and Drag Queen laws would cause other States to do the same. Even if I wanted to go to Florida to see my twin ever again, I risked being arrested for whatever bathroom I used. I knew I risked being denighed treatment if I had a medical emergency.

The work you, your husband, and the Matthew Shepard Goundation is doing is saving lives.

A few years ago I went to a fundraising dinner in Denver for the Matthew Shepard Foundation. I met you and your husband. There were so many people. I thanked you for the work you are doing to repair the world one person and moment at a time.

G-d bless you for your strength, dedication, and abilities to do what you are doing for the LGBTQI+ communities. I know that during tough times you are saying, ‘Patience, Faith, Reward.’

Anshel Bomberger,
Georgetown, CO