The Once and Future Me

A Novel

By: Melissa Pace

Narrated by: Xe Sands

Dark Matter meets Girl, Interrupted in this gripping psychological thriller about a young woman teetering on the edge of reality.

Virginia, 1954. When a woman wakes on a patient transport bus arriving at Hanover State Psychiatric Hospital, she remembers nothing of her life before that moment, none of the dark things she must’ve seen and done that forged her into the skillful and cunning fighter she is. Doctors tell her she’s Dorothy Frasier, a paranoid schizophrenic, committed for her violent delusions. She’s certain they’re wrong—until disturbing visions of a dystopian future in which frantic scientists urge her to complete “the mission” and save mankind begin to invade her reality.

Believing it’s Hanover causing the hallucinations, she tells no one and focuses only on escaping—until there’s a visitor. A man whose loving face—and touch—she remembers, a man who knows all about her visions, because he’s spent years helping her cope with them: her husband, Paul Frasier.

Now she’s sure of nothing, caught between two realities. Believe in the future, and she might save the world. Believe in her husband and doctors’ plans for her treatment, and she might save herself. She needs answers, but to get them she’ll have to harness the darkness inside her as she risks her freedom, her mind, and ultimately her life in a heart-stopping quest for the truth.

©2025 by Melissa Pace. (P)2025 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

Delulu or Time Traveler??

When I first read the synopsis for The Once and Future Me, I was immediately intrigued and glad I enjoyed this book! The FMC finds herself on a bus to a psychiatric hospital, but doesn't know why she's there. She tells the workers they've mixed her up with another woman that was on the bus, but no one believes her. At one point, she has a seizure and supposedly awakens in the future, where she's told she was sent back in time to find the doctor who may have the cure for a deadly virus in the future that wipes out much of humanity. Much of the first part of the story takes place in this 1950s psychiatric hospital. The FMC doesn't know whether she's delulu and suffering psychotic episodes, or if she's indeed a time traveler. And once again, I will say time travel stories always boggle my mind 😆 

This isn't a fast paced story as various characters are introduced to build the tension and suspense. The author did a great job here as it really makes the FMC and the reader question which timeline is real. I felt the medical events in the 1950s were accurately portrayed. There were a lot of questionable and unethical practices during that time in the treatment of mental illness and some of that was shown throughout the story. 

The ending is left open to interpretation though. You can draw your own conclusion or it could even leave space for a sequel if that is an option. For this particular book, I didn't mind the ending. There was a resolution depending on what you're focused on in terms of the story.

🎧 Xe Sands did a great job narrating the book. Her performance brought out the paranoia and confusion the FMC was feeling and helped enhance the story.

perfirmances

liked evrryything. best I hav read in years! hope u can find something comparable for my next read. that's the problem with a great book it spoils you for the others after!!

Multiple loose ends make for unsatisfying ending

This novel was described as a standalone story, but, after a story drawn out by occasionally frustrating complications, the ending was abrupt and unfinished, with many loose ends and unresolved plot points. This would be acceptable if this book were the first in a duology or trilogy, but it is clearly advertised as a standalone novel.

Also, I listened to this book because it was this month’s selection of a book club I belong to. Out of 12 members, not a single person gave this book a thumbs up.

Meh

Was interesting and then rushed. Could have used more editing. The audio performance was so annoying I nearly abandoned the book early.