The Shape of My Eyes

A Memoir of Race, Faith, and Finding Myself

By: Dave Gibbons

A "riveting" and touching memoir about the understanding one's cultural identity from pastor, business leader, and innovator Dave Gibbons (Makoto Fujimura).

A surprising diagnosis of PTSD led Dave Gibbons to look to his past for clues to explain the unexpected result. Born to an American soldier and a Korean mother in the wake of the Korean War, Dave has spent his life struggling to blend his Korean roots and his American upbringing. The family joins a conservative church that embraces a strict, rule-based faith, and they try to navigate life as one of the few mixed-raced families in their community. But when tragedy strikes, tearing the family apart, Dave is forced to face long- buried secrets that he can no longer ignore.

As he explores his family’s difficult past, he confronts his own pain and the persistent feelings of not quite fitting in either in America or his mother’s home country. And when a DNA test ultimately reveals a truth that shatters everything he understood about his history, he is forced to confront the traumas he unknowingly carried.

The Shape of My Eyes beautifully weaves historic reference points of the oppression and discrimination against Asian Americans with Dave’s own personal story. Dave’s wrestling with belonging in his family, in America, and in the church creates a raw, thought-provoking memoir about race, religion and finding home.

Critic reviews

“A riveting account of a cross cultural journey of faith, hope, forgiveness and love, this resonated deeply to me as an artist. Dave Gibbons has woven an honest and essential spiritual memoir from “dangerous place of shame and marginalization“ to God’s abiding grace, and home, in unexpected places."

—Makoto Fujimura, artist and author of “Art+Faith: A Theology of Making”

“Dave’s book is a moving, deeply personal memoir from a “leader of leaders.” Even though his story is so unique, the themes of forgiveness, faithfulness and God’s love will resonate with everyone. As a filmmaker, I couldn’t even come up with the stories of the life he has experienced!”—Dan Lin, Chairman of Film for NETFLIX

"Reading the Shape of My Eyes was so transformatively gripping that it soothes the most emotionally unbearable moments of our own lives. Dave audaciously captures his most painful experiences so skillfully that you find yourself in these stories compelled, with a teary-eyed vulnerability, to make sense of your own world and belong."—Sherol Chen, Google AI Research PhD

“Dave’s story pulls you in because it’s all our story - finding identity and home… Dave does the best kind of deconstruction - not one of religion or God but of himself.”—Bob Roberts, Jr., President Glocalnet / Multifaith Neighbors Network / Glocal Ventures / Institute for Global Engagement

“I devoured the book in just a few days, captivated by the raw vulnerability Dave courageously shares with his readers. It's astounding to see how he opens up about his deepest pains and wounds, making us wonder about the immense courage it must have taken to lay bare such personal struggles… It is certain to touch millions of lives and families, just as it has profoundly impacted ours."

—Patrick and Joyce, Bangkok, Thailand Amway Crown Ambassador and Serial Entrepreneur in Education, Wellness, and Sustainable

“The Shape of My Eyes is a compelling and introspective memoir that gracefully navigates the complexities of identity, cultural heritage, and the journey of self-discovery. … A powerful and uplifting must-read for anyone committed to the hard, hopeful work of building a better world.”—Sylvia Kim, Founder & CEO, Rebel For Good

“Dave’s vulnerability and candidness adds to the spiritual authority he carries and I’m sure the Holy Spirit will speak to you as you dive into his spiritual story. Prepare to be challenged, inspired and have your outlook expanded.”—Teofilo Hayashi, Founder of Dunamis Movement , Senior Leader of Zion Church

Great story.

I loved that this was read by the author. It’s more meaningful to me this way. Appreciated the way he handled his trials with grace. It’s inspired me to want to do better in the wounds I have in my life. Thank you for sharing this. I know it’s not easy as a pastor to share things without feeling you’re sharing someone else’s story but you did that perfectly. Got to the essence without feeling catty. Loved it.

Beautiful and vulnerable memoir of a humble leader

What a gift to get insight into the life of a man who treats his community (who is as diverse as it gets in all variables) like family.

So many emotions…

I found so much of my own story reflected in Gibbons’ writing. His portrayal of the Asian American experience—feeling like a perpetual foreigner, struggling to navigate between two cultures, and wrestling with questions of identity and belonging—resonated deeply with me.

As Gibbons vividly recounted his life and his complex relationships with his parents, I felt my emotions welling up. His honesty and vulnerability made it a privilege to be invited into his world.

A beautifully told and deeply moving story—reading it was an absolute pleasure.

Beautiful authentic story

Having known Dave for over 15 years, I loved learning more of the back story, highs and lows and unique experiences that shape who he is today.

Heartwarming and wrenching at the same time!

This memoir was so raw and honest! I cried, laughed, was angry at the injustice he felt! Appreciated his heart for the outcast, minority, and his mother. Loved reading this!