The Things We Love

How Our Passions Connect Us and Make Us Who We Are

By: Aaron Ahuvia PhD PhD

Narrated by: Steven Jay Cohen

A revealing investigation of the secret, tangled emotional relationships people have with things—drawing on cutting-edge findings from the fields of psychology, neuroscience, and marketing.

Books, baseball cards, ceramic figurines, art, iPhones, clothing, cars, music, dolls, furniture, and even nature itself. If you're like most people, at some point in your life you've found yourself indulging in a love affair with some thing that brings you immense joy, comfort, or fulfillment. Why is it that we so often feel intense passion for objects? What does this tendency tell us about ourselves and our society?

In The Things We Love, Dr. Aaron Ahuvia presents astonishing discoveries that prove we are far less “rational” than we think when it comes to our possessions and hobbies. In fact, we have passionate relationships with the things we love, and these relationships are driven by influences deep within our culture and our biology. Some of our passions are sudden, obsessive, and fleeting; others are devoted and lifelong affairs. Some turn dark: we become hoarders, or would prefer to destroy certain objects rather than let anyone else own them. And as technology improves, becoming increasingly addictive, one wonders: might our lives become so dominated by our emotional ties to things that we lose interest in other people?

Packed with fascinating case studies, scientific analysis, and takeaways for living in a modern and ever-so-material world, The Things We Love offers a truly original and insightful look into our love for inanimate objects — and how better understanding these relationships can enrich and improve our lives.

Critic reviews

"Love is the one emotion that keeps us hopeful and sane in a world of chaos. Aaron Ahuvia writes beautifully about this wonderful state of being in all of its manifestations. Read and learn how your self-concept is so girded and gifted by your love of things."—Philip Kotler, the father of modern marketing and author of Marketing Management

“The Things We Love is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand what it means to be human in the modern world. Dr. Ahuvia makes a compelling case that who we are has much more to do with what we love than we might expect.”—Francesca Gino, bestselling author of Rebel Talent

“We’re all living in a material world. But while we’re surrounded by things, we have a lot less of a sense of how those things make us who we are. In this exciting and engaging read, Dr. Ahuvia synthesizes recent discoveries from psychology, neuroscience, biology, and marketing to help us better understand our things and ourselves.”—Jonah Berger, author of Contagious, Invisible Influence, and The Catalyst

"People often spend money on things in pursuit of happiness, which often leaves us unfulfilled. Dr. Ahuvia’s work spans social psychology, neuroscience, business, and technology to help us explore our love of things in order to anchor on purposeful relationships with ourselves and others. A meaningful read."—Jennifer Aaker, General Atlantic Professor, Stanford University, and coauthor of Humor, Seriously and The Dragonfly Effect

“I read this book with great interest and found it extremely well written, entertaining, and well grounded in research. Aaron Ahuvia gives us a fascinating, rich, lively and yet profound insight on how we can fall in love with the world and bring a sense of fulfillment in our life. How the love of nature, among others, can generate a sense of wonderment and respect. As a Buddhist, I was particularly interested in his discussions of how craving for things that we don’t need, which modern marketing makes us desire, often leads to entanglement in further craving and may end up in an environmental disaster.”—Matthieu Ricard, author of A Plea for the Animals

“Who knew there was so much more to our relationships with things than meets the eye? Dr. Ahuvia brilliantly illuminates the science and psychology that underlies our affection for certain treasured possessions, and in the process, he reveals fascinating insights into what makes each one of us tick.”—Nir Eyal, author of Hooked and Indistractable

It's Ok to Love Things!

What a great book! Dr. Ahuvia really breaks down the whole relationship of identity and brand love and gets down to the psychology of building a brand that resonated on a human level. LOVE!

What you think is more than you think

Aaron Ahuvia asks questions I wouldn't think to ask, and his answers are surprising. The unconscious is revealed.

It Helped me you reshape my brief of Agape and appreciate the human evolution of these complex emotions better

I would recommend this book to all University students trying to establish a liberal arts academic foundation and to have a greater appreciation for why people do and behave as they do.

everyone should read this

reading this book gave me so many insights into my own relation with things, and my family members’ relations to their things. it expands greatly the old psychological framework of object relations. the narrative’s many poignant examples enliven and support the ideas explained. i liked the balance of theory and application, hypotheses and evidence, history and prognostic speculation. the book seems like essential reading for students in psychology, business, and marketing, and maybe even american studies —and for any consumer and citizen in developed or developing societies.