Toad’s Terrible, No-Good, Very Excellent Adventure

How Not to Quest Properly

By: Joseph Santiago

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Toad’s Terrible, No-Good, Very Excellent Adventure

(How Not to Quest Properly)

What happens when an imp with the self-preservation instincts of a sock in a tornado, a wizard who can’t stop turning things into chickens, a ghost rabbit with a talent for bad decisions, and a knight-turned-frog who just wants some peace get tangled in a fate-woven disaster?

Well… this.

Toad, an imp with a talent for absolutely the wrong kind of mischief, has been "banished" (read: promoted) to the Mortal Realm. Osric, a wizard desperately trying to master magic without creating more poultry, has somehow become the group's reluctant voice of reason (against his will and better judgment). Sir Croakalot, formerly a noble knight and currently an exhausted frog, would really like to sit this one out. And then there’s Travisano Rabbit—Bunny—ghost, rogue, and full-time connoisseur of questionable life choices, here for the chaos and, apparently, a body swap.

Their journey takes them through haunted ruins, cursed bargains, sentient labyrinths, and straight into interdimensional creature court, where the Swamp Witch (yes, that Swamp Witch) is suing them for violating reality itself. (She’s also charging admission. Classic.)

So if you enjoy:
✔️ Dubiously legal magical shenanigans
✔️ Contracts that absolutely should have been read more carefully
✔️ Heroic nonsense
✔️ Found family, but with extra chaos
✔️ A story that is both deeply ridiculous and strangely profound

Then, my friend, this is the book for you.

Turn the page. Your terrible, no-good, very excellent adventure awaits.

Hilariously chaotic

Toad is my new favorite character. You never expect what will happen next! I have laughed out loud more times than I can count listening to his. The swamp scene with the chess game has to be my favorite.

Ai voice fit

The AI voice was a little different to listen to the book with, but the book was funny. It had a lot of interesting moments, different concepts, and then, by the fourth part of the book I was laughing my butt off. It’s a good read.