Wifey Material

By: Blythe Dowling-Eversly

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

“Happy wife. Happy life.”

This recurrent phrase has slowly morphed from folksy colloquialism to full-blown mantra by an ever-increasing share of married men all around the modern world. The irony [or the ignominy–depending on which side of the aisle you sit on] being that no such idiom appears to exist in the reverse.

Nevertheless, for Bethuel “Bee” Blazey, finding that special someone to stand beside him while he grows his family business has proven to be an exercise in futility. More meme than Kermit the Frog sipping black tea.

Introducing, M.A.I.A., short for Modifiable Artificial Intelligence Android.

Designed to complement the forgotten men and women on the go who struggle with the ever-evolving intricacies of relationships in today’s hyperactive, online-focused world. Maia’s unique conjugal abilities would prove to be a welcome addition to Bee’s mental, physical and emotional well-being.

But as renowned 19th century poet, Emily Dickinson, once wrote, “Fame Is A Bee.”

The more self-aware Maia becomes, the more Bee realizes that the old adage still rings true: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Everything comes with a price. He is at a crossroads with the machine poised to take total control.

If a return to normalcy is what he truly desires, then it is action he must take; while being cognizant to remember Newton’s third law: “For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.”

The battle of the sexes has just been upgraded.