A Dark Hole

Sebastian Korda is making like Gloria Estefan and coming out of the dark: in a career interrupted by injuries, Seb follows up his Delray Beach title by sending #1 Carlos Alcaraz out of Miami. Iga Swiatek’s frustration continues as her countrywoman Magda Linette packs her up; shortly after, Iga does the same to coach Wim Fissette. On the docket we’ve also got the Matosevic doping story, Danielle and Corentin (we’re way too old for this), a painful and hopefully temporary Body Serve ban, and an ASMR taste test of Vegemite - sure, a few months late in tennis terms, but whatever, we didn’t have Vegemite then.

2:00 Carlos out of Sunshine swing

5:40 Iga loses her incredible streak of 73 straight opening-round wins

9:40 Let them eat bagels: Arthur Fils is back!

14:30 Sorry, Leylah

18:45 Danielle et Corentin, you’re both doing A LOT right now

23:05 Marinko Matosevic’s brazen doping scandal

31:40 ATP schedule changes, in concert with the Saudi sports fund

35:15 Betting is a scourge and the players suffer

42:15 Our first (and last) ASMR segment