Assumptions in Relationships: The Codependency Loop That Keeps You Stuck

Assumptions are one of the most common ways we manage anxiety in relationships, but they also keep us stuck in the very patterns we’re trying to heal. In this episode, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT is joined by Madeleine Downey, RCC to unpack how mind-reading, overfunctioning, and “being the bad guy in someone’s story” often come from early beliefs rooted in shame. They walk through a practical loop you can use in real time—belief → assumption → behavior → confirmation—and why bringing “the story I’m telling myself is…” into the light can diffuse conflict and deepen intimacy. This is a relational invitation to stop living inside imagined certainty and start choosing clarity, vulnerability, and responsibility.

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