In this second installment of Before I Forget, Lil Xan (Diego) takes a raw and reflective look at one of the most polarizing terms in the music industry: "the fall off". From the chaotic heights of his 2018 fame to his new, quieter life in Utah, Diego explores what happens once you've reached the top and the cameras begin to turn away.

Diego breaks down the timeline of his career, beginning with his early days in 2016 and the "magic" of his rapid rise through the SoundCloud era with hits like "SlingShot" and "Betrayed". He offers a candid look at the dark side of that success, revealing how he used Xanax and opioids as a crutch to cope with public scrutiny, viral controversies, and the overwhelming pressure of being a "rap star" while feeling like he could do no wrong.

Now nearly four years sober, Diego addresses the viral "failure" videos head-on. He discusses the intense anxiety of being a public figure without the numbing effects of drugs and why he now prefers the peace of a "calm life" and a dedicated cult fanbase over the trend-driven stardom of his past.

It is an honest conversation about ego, the reality of the "rockstar lifestyle," and the resilience required to find a new purpose when you are no longer standing at the peak.

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Episode 1: Grief & Sobriety — Losing My Mom and Finding Myself

In the debut episode of Before I Forget, Lil Xan opens up about the most painful chapter of his life — the sudden loss of his mother — and the fight to stay sober in the aftermath.

For the first time, Xan shares how her passing shattered him, what those first days and weeks really looked like, and how he navigated grief without falling back into addiction. From the memories that haunt him to the moments that gave him strength, this episode goes deeper than anything he’s ever put on the internet.

It’s raw, emotional, vulnerable, and real — a conversation about loss, healing, and the daily work it takes to rebuild your life one sober day at a time.

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