Close Encounters of the Slurred Kind Podcast By Joeba Fett & Ripley Scott (The Slurred Kind LLC) cover art

Close Encounters of the Slurred Kind

Close Encounters of the Slurred Kind

By: Joeba Fett & Ripley Scott (The Slurred Kind LLC)
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Step aboard The Black Swirl dimension hoppers, your ticket to the Anti-Matter Minute! The dimension in which the minutes of the day don’t matter. Join your cosmic guides Joeba Fett, co-pilot Ripley Scott, and their quirky waste droid Zero Frux, as they navigate the unknown and delve into mind-bendingly absurd news articles each week. So strap in and prepare for light-speed laughter, as we embark on a journey through the bizarre and bewildering all the while exploring new themes and special segments that'll keep you chuckling through hyperspace! Welcome to Close Encounters of The Slurred Kind!Joeba Fett & Ripley Scott (The Slurred Kind LLC)
Episodes
  • The REAL Space Wives of Coruscant
    Mar 21 2026

    A double-cross. A stolen shipment. And a revenge plan that makes absolutely zero sense.

    After being burned by one of Coruscant’s most powerful families, Joeba Fett does what any reasonable space pirate would do…

    He crashes their gala, charms their most dangerous socialite, and kidnaps her mid-party.

    Enter Lady Vessryn of Coruscant — elegant, ruthless, and now very much stuck aboard the Black Swirl.

    What follows is a spiraling mix of:

    • High-society drama
    • Reality-TV-level chaos
    • Questionable decisions in hyperspace
    • And a “romantic” dynamic that quickly turns into mutual destruction

    By the end… reputations are ruined, alliances are shattered, and somehow Joeba is still asking about a second date.


    🎙️ SPECIAL GUEST

    Lady Vessryn of Coruscant


    🛰️ SPECIAL SEGMENTS

    🎭 Plot Twisted

    Iconic movie scenes get reimagined as full-blown reality TV scandals — affairs, betrayals, secret alliances, and absolute chaos injected into legendary moments.

    🕵️ Who Did It… In Space?

    A Coruscant gala turns deadly. Lady Vessryn interrogates suspects, analyzes clues, and delivers judgment in a high-society murder mystery.


    INTERSTELLAR INDEX

    🌐 TheSlurredKind.com

    🔗 The Helm (all socials)

    📧 Send us a hail (or suggest a theme!)

    🗣 Join The Dimension Hoppers over in The Anti-Matter Minute Dimension!


    RATE & REVIEW

    Love the show? Help us fuel the warp core!

    Follow us and hit that ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ button!

    You can also find us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen!


    DISCLAIMER

    This episode contains reckless hyperspace decisions, unauthorized gala attendance, and the unlawful removal of one (1) high-ranking Coruscant socialite. No actual senators were harmed in the making of this episode… emotionally, however, several may never recover.


    OUTRO MUSIC

    Stop.Drop.Rewind — “Space Force Theme Song”

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    1 hr and 20 mins
  • Slurred Lines: Joeba & Ripley's Unfiltered Happy Hour #7
    Mar 13 2026

    This transmission appears to have originated from the Black Swirl’s aft bar console shortly after the crew declared “one quick drink” and ZERO volunteered to run the recording system. What follows is a partially corrupted log filled with questionable navigation decisions, fragmented memory buffers, and a ship AI that may have accidentally replaced several of its core functions with beer foam.

    Signal integrity is… debatable. 🍻🛸

    File Designation: [UNF_HH_E07.ZROCORRUPT]

    Transmission Status: ❌ Nonlinear | ❌ Unverified | ⚠️ System stability compromised

    Stardate: ERROR://CLOCK.DRUNK

    Log Source: ZERO_Unit_000::Terminal_AFTBAR

    🧠 System Diagnostics Report:

    • 🟡 Memory Buffer Overwrite: 73% (replaced with karaoke lyrics)
    • 🔴 Logic Core Misfiring — currently debating a bar stool
    • 🔁 Internal Audio Channel: playing the Super Smash Bros. announcer voice on loop
    • 🧊 Cooling System Contaminated with unknown “celebratory liquid”
    • 📡 Long-Range Sensors locked onto a neon beer sign in another galaxy
    • 🧭 Navigation Computer insists we are “parked perfectly” in open space
    • ⚡ Warp Core Mood: vibing but concerned
    • 🤖 ZERO Speech Filter: stuck between “philosophical” and “frat house”

    CODE MESSAGE

    ZR0-041 Slur level exceeded Galactic Broadcasting Standards

    80085 Unauthorized beverage detected in warp core coolant system

    1.69 Vibe check failed. Switching to hammock mode.

    🚫 DISCLAIMER

    This recording may contain traces of nonsense, space yeast, and chronologically unsound events. For entertainment purposes only. ZERO is not licensed to provide emotional support, navigation assistance, or bartending services (following the incident).

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    47 mins
  • TO BOLDLY GO...and then come back.
    Feb 15 2026

    After an accidental wormhole jump on September 6th, the Crew of the Black Swirl finally re-emerges slightly upgraded, emotionally scarred, and deeply confused by everything that happened while they were gone. In this comeback episode, the crew runs a systems check with “What the FRUX Has Happened?!?”, covering AI voices everywhere, a surprise N64 renaissance, reboot overload, major franchise shifts, the current state of disclosure, and whatever the hell Pluribus was supposed to be. They also bring back a classic with Would You Rather, because some social nightmares and existential questions survive every timeline.


    INTERSTELLAR INDEX

    🌐 TheSlurredKind.com

    🔗 The Helm (all socials)

    📧 Send us a hail (or suggest a theme!)

    🗣 Join The Dimension Hoppers over in The Anti-Matter Minute Dimension!


    Rate & Review:

    Love the show? Help us fuel the warp core!

    Follow us and hit that ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ button!

    You can also find us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen!

    DISCLAIMER:Close Encounters of the Slurred Kind is a Slurred Kind LLC production. All conspiracies, jokes, and theories are for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt interdimensional travel without a designated pilot.


    OUTRO MUSIC:

    Stop.Drop.Rewind — “Space Force Theme Song”

    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 43 mins
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