Conceding to My Innermost Self: I’m Not OK

Change began when I conceded to my innermost self that the way I was living was no longer working. This pivotal point happened when I got sober and when I left my career for stroke recovery.

That inner voice tends to get buried under denial, fear, and survival mode. Admitting complete defeat meant I was willing to change something, and stop forcing my way to work. Little did I know, the only thing that had to change was everything…TWICE.

Willingness felt desperate, painful, and uncertain. But once I admitted that I was not okay, a door opened to another way of life. Sobriety helped me reconnect with the voice of my innermost self, and over time I learned to listen to it instead of the voice of my disease, fears, and depression. I’ve relied heavily on that connection in stroke recovery. I try to stay connected to my innermost self each day, through fellowship with other survivors and a growing faith in something bigger than myself.

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