In which we are baffled by a woman’s choice to build herself a reputation for paedophilia rather than just being a well dressed woman who looks slightly older than us.

Jen and Grams have a competition to see who can be the most obnoxious inches away from the face of a woman giving birth and Dawson’s camera gets put to use in a new and inappropriate way.

Content note - sorry not sorry for the use of the word “nonceageddon”, one can only hope it’s the last time we need to for a good few episodes.

Episode 5 - Welcome back! After a hiatus we're back to talk LOT about how shit James Van Der Beeks passing is, and why you should absolutely watch his whole back catalogue.

Also, what the hell happens when a hurricane hits Capeside? Naturally, everyone goes absolutely batshit - We learn that Mitch is building a tiny model restaurant for some reason, no one cares if Pacey lives or dies and Grams naturally sees the inclement weather as a good time to do some extremely bad racism...

Content note - As per, we are forced to say 'nonce' a lot due to the extremely bad behaviour or the Capeside adults, we talk about some of Grams' very bad racist opinions, and for obvious reasons we end up talking about cancer for ages!

In which Dawson wishes all women could just stop being sluts and we acknowledge that we can have big issues with Dawson while simultaneously loving him forever.

In which Joey demonstrates an insufficient degree of deference to Stranger Danger, because all the ladies love a fella on a string instrument. ( Content note -we recorded this ages ago and so we talk about Lily Allen for good 20 mins. Enjoy some late 2025 nostalgia!)

In which we reflect on the sick sad reality of Dawson’s family life and no one thinks your dad teaching you to kiss on a life-size rubber head based on your neighbour is weird.

Welcome to our very first outing, In which Rachel explains to Bryony just what the eff is going on in Capeside. Joey is our faveourite too-tall B word, Pacy is just a little baby, Dawson is oblivious and WHO THE HELL IS THIS MICHELLE WILLIAMS BLOW-IN FROM THE BIG CITY? Content warning : we say nonce a lot but for that please blame the weirdly permissive attitudes to grooming in 1998.

What the hell are we talking about? A short guide to why you should include us in the background of your life. Go on.