EP 277.5: Stop Focusing on How Far You Have to Go in Recovery (Focus on This Instead) **Must Listen Fav!**

Are you constantly measuring yourself against where you think you "should" be in recovery? Always focused on how far you still have to go instead of how far you've come? You're living in "the gap"—and it's stealing your joy and progress. Today I'm sharing one of my biggest recovery regrets and the powerful mindset shift that changes everything: Gap vs Gain thinking. This concept from Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan's book "The Gap and The Gain" transformed how I view progress, and it will transform yours too. In this episode, you'll discover: The difference between gap thinking and gain thinkingWhy focusing on your ideal future state keeps you stuckMy biggest regret from my recovery journey (and how to avoid it)How to measure your progress backwards instead of forwardsWhy you're missing the blessings in your messThe one question that changes everything: "What's better today than yesterday?"How to start celebrating small wins instead of dismissing them Ready to stop living in the gap and start living in the gain? GAP VS GAIN EXPLAINED Living in the GAP: Constantly measuring yourself against an ideal or "perfect" versionFocusing on the distance between where you are and where you "should" beCreates persistent feelings of falling shortAlways focused on what you LACK Living in the GAIN: Measuring yourself backwards—looking at how far you've traveled from where you startedFocusing on progress, growth, and what you've accomplishedCreates satisfaction and momentumFocused on what you HAVE SIGNS YOU'RE LIVING IN THE GAP ❌ Focusing on how your body doesn't yet look how you want it to ❌ Obsessing over meals you still struggle with instead of celebrating ones you've conquered ❌ Comparing your progress to others who seem to be moving faster ❌ Fixating on still having food thoughts instead of noticing they're less frequent ❌ Constantly thinking about where you're "not yet" ❌ Feeling like you'll never be enough, never do enough SIGNS YOU'RE LIVING IN THE GAIN ✅ Celebrating foods that once scared you but don't anymore ✅ Noticing decreased time thinking about food compared to 6 months ago ✅ Recognizing mental energy you've reclaimed in areas of your life ✅ Acknowledging small daily victories ✅ Measuring backwards from where you started MY BIGGEST RECOVERY REGRET "I was so focused on what I lacked, that I lost what I had. When you focus on what you have, you actually gain what you lack." I spent so much time thinking about the ideal—a constant moving target—thinking about where I wasn't yet, and how high the mountain seemed to continue to get. I was so fixated on needing to "arrive" that I almost missed the blessings in the mess. My biggest mistake: Not being present in the specific moments because I was too busy looking for the next milestone. If I knew then what I know now: I would have lived every day like recovery was inevitable for me—not optional, just a matter of time. I would have enjoyed the process instead of just trying to get through it. THE POWER OF MEASURING BACKWARDS When you're in the gap: You have an unhealthy attachment to something you feel you NEED When you're in the gain: You focus on what you WANT and feel grateful for the journey The shift from "need" to "want" changes everything: Need comes from internal dissatisfaction that can't be resolved unless you choose to surrender it. Want allows gratitude for where you've been and excitement for where you're going. ACTIONABLE TIPS TO LIVE IN THE GAIN 1. Journal and Identify Your Personal Gains Ask yourself: Am I constantly chasing what I haven't yet experienced, or am I acknowledging how far I've come? 2. Practice Present Moment Gratitude Ask: "What's better today than it was before?" instead of "What's still not working?" 3. Start Sessions with Wins Always identify your wins FIRST, then address challenges 4. Measure Progress Backwards Look at where you are now compared to 6 months ago, not compared to where you want to be 5. Search for Daily Evidence Your mind will start searching for evidence of what's better today when you train it to look THE LIFE-CHANGING QUESTION "If you knew that your dream of recovery freedom was 100% already granted—if God came down and said this is already done for you—what would you do differently tomorrow?" This question shifts you from gap thinking (needing to get somewhere) to gain thinking (being grateful for the journey while knowing the destination is secured). KEY QUOTES 💛 "I was so focused on what I lacked, that I lost what I had. When you focus on what you have, you actually gain what you lack." 💛 "My biggest regret was almost missing the blessings in the mess." 💛 "The person who fails the most will win, because to keep failing, you have to be good enough to keep playing." 💛 "If recovery was inevitable for me, I could choose how I wanted to be in that day." 💛 "What's better today than it was before?" 💛 "Those tiny little wins add up to freaking milestones, ...